Up

In professional wrestling, there is a phenomenon called the one match show. It's a show where there is one great match, and everything around falls somewhere on the spectrum between dull and terrible. Up is the cinematic version of that. A one scene movie. 4 1/2 minutes of perfectly fine (if overrated) cinema. The rest of it? I would call this Pixar's most boring movie, but The Good Dinosaur exists. I would say this is Pixar's most annoying cast of characters, but Cars 2 exists. So it can't even be the worst thing Pixar has done. But it is damned, DAMNED close. I know it's got themes of embracing life or never being too old for something or letting go of mourning, and if they were being conveyed by a cast other than a miserable curmudgeon and a human plot device, it might be sweet. But I never cared about Carl's loss or sympathized with his sorrow; I never cared about the kid, who has no more character than "stumbles over the next plot development". I really didn't care for how it, of course, had to turn into the standard issue Pixar "character gets lost and has to get back and it's a metaphor for some life lesson" plot that so very many Pixar movies use. Nothing about this movie made me care. Nothing. Everything made me bored or irritated. This is a movie that, undeservedly, coasts on the reputation of 4 1/2 minutes of a sweet, sad, speed run through a marriage. Nothing about what happens after is memorable or distinct in any way. This was my second time giving this movie a chance. The first time, I bailed after 30 minutes because I was so bored. My first instincts were dead on.