Zack and Miri Make a Porno

I want to feel bad for Kevin Smith. He is clearly a passionate filmmaker, who wants to tell the stories he wants to tell without compromise, and I respect that. He's chased mainstream success to no avail on multiple occasions. He's wanted to escape the prison of being a niche director whose name only sells to the loyal fanbase that already exists but never to the rest of the world, like a Gen-X Woody Allen. But Smith fashioned that prison himself; he indulged in his style of humor for way too long (five films) before he tried something that broke away with Jersey Girl, and the moment it bombed, he raced back to the comfort of Clerks II. When Red State, a drama with elements of horror and NO elements of Smith's signature humor, failed to get any traction, he went to Tusk, a dumb idea he literally thought of while high and joking with his buddies. Every time he fails at expanding past the boundaries he set up for himself and fails, he runs back to the safety of his niche. Zack & Miri Make A Porno was another attempt at going mainstream. The story of the titular characters, friends since childhood who are roommates and are in such financial straits they decide to make a porn together to make money which makes them re-evaluate their relationship as possibly more than platonic, was an attempt to cash in on the crude, raunchy, dudebro humor that permeated the 2000's. Smith saw Judd Apatow making a boatload of money off wave after wave of low-brow humor, and he said to himself "I can do that!". You don't have to take my word for it, Smith himself has said this was targeted for that audience. And it failed, hard. Why? Because it is clear that the commercial possibilities of the movie came first in the hierarchy, and that the gap between commerce and heart is miles wide. Firstly, there's the humor. It could be amusing. it might, perhaps, even be funny, if Smith hadn't woefully misunderstood the formula that brought Apatow's films success. Smith seems to have thought the formula was "loud + crass = $$$" and stopped there. Zack & Miri does not stop at overkill. I am not one to cringe at swearing or dirty jokes -- one of my all-time favorite comedies is Hot Tub Time Machine, and that movie does not shy away from being crass -- but the unrelenting barrage of cursing in this bordered on Wolf Of Wall Street levels of excess, and the toilet humor rises (or sinks) to the same level of excess. Rarely did I find the movie ever attempting to actually tell a joke instead of pummeling my eyes and ears with vulgarity and perversion. I am no fan of Judd Apatow's writing or direction, but even I will concede that movies like The 40 Year Old Virgin left room for JOKES. A set-up and a punchline. That unrelenting dedication to an abusive level of vulgarity has the knock-on effect of taking the romantic aspect of this movie -- because it's also supposed to be a rom-com?!? -- and smothering it with a pillow. Because these two leads have to live in this scenario where they're organizing the filming of an adult movie, it's hard for genuine emotion and sweetness to develop when they're talking about pegging and how anal sex is good for relieving constipation and how much semen will be splattered all over the set. The moments where Seth Rogen and Elizabeth Banks do get to attempt some romance all feel like cliches torn from the first chapter of will-they-or-won't-they screenwriting class, rather than genuine human emotion. Never mind that they share an attraction beyond friendship is clear in the first ten minutes, so the movie has manufacture drama to keep them apart until the bold declaration of love scene (another cliche), which happens in THE LAST FIVE MINUTES. And is literally stopped dead for a couple minutes by a ridiculous conversation between Rogen and Jason Mewes, just so the movie can make one more sex "joke". I could not believe that Kevin Smith actually, intentionally designed the climax to wait until the very last minute, and then had the gall to have it come to a screeching halt. I'd admire the audacity if it didn't make me want to scream into a pillow until I had no more oxygen in my lungs. And, I don't know how else to say this, but another unbelievable aspect of this romance? Elizabeth Banks. I'm not saying she's bad, put down your pitchforks. I've liked her in other things, and she does the best with what she has here. But she is woefully miscast here. Seth Rogen looks believable in this situation of friends who think they can make a porn and use that to get out of poverty. He's schlubby, he's pudgy, he's ill kempt. Looking at him, I believe he's two months behind on his utility bills. I do not believe that of Elizabeth Banks in this movie. She is always dolled up to the nines, Hair, make-up, cute clothes. There was no attempt at making her fit the scenario. So while she is fun to watch (the scene where she realizes she loves Zack is absolutely adorable), she sticks out like a sore thumb in the movie by being too beautiful for it. I avoided this movie for 17 years because I've never found Seth Rogen funny. It was only after seeing Kevin Smith's The 4:30 Movie, and seeing I only had four movies left in his filmography that I hadn't seen, that I thought I should give it a try, and maybe even see the other three. Considering the other three are Yoga Hosers (a movie considered to be his low point), Cop Out (Smith's only work-for-hire and the only movie he regrets making) and KillRoy Was Here (a movie that no studio would pick up, so he sold it via NFT), I'm not sure if I've got the stomach to finish off his list. Zack & Miri isn't the worst Smith movie I've seen, but it was clear to me he was scrambling making this movie, both chasing clout he desperately wants and can't seem to get, and creative satisfaction that seemed to be, at best, a secondary consideration here. And fell far, far short of both goals.