Ranking the Bond films

[Pickpocket]

They're all beautiful women, so one has to be more picky. Kim Basinger back then was the equivalent of an excellent cheeseburger. However, Claudine Ager (Domino in the original Thunderball) was an outstanding filet mignon. Would you really rate a top-notch cheeseburger 4th among so many amazing, high-level culinary dishes?

I made a mistake Kim shuold've been below Claudine, I'll fix it next update

They don't get plain-looking until Tomorrow Never Dies, and the firstly uglies show up in Die Another Day.

I'll be surprised and disappointed if there's anyone worse than Tracy. When I was watching I was thinking I'd seen her before and turns out she is grandma Tyrell in Game of Thrones.

[ShogunRua]

I'll be surprised and disappointed if there's anyone worse than Tracy. When I was watching I was thinking I'd seen her before and turns out she is grandma Tyrell in Game of Thrones.

Haha. Diana Rigg got the role at least partly due to her fame from being in the TV show The Avengers and she had a much better overall career than most Bond girls do. But I agree; she is by far the plainest, least attractive of all the Bond girls up until the point you have seen, and it's not even close. And yes, you're in for surprise and disappointment.

[Pickpocket]

1. Goldfinger
2. From Russia With Love
3. Live and Let Die
4. Thunderball
5. Never Say Never Again
6. For Your Eyes Only
7. Dr. No
8. You Only Live Twice
9. The Man With the Golden Gun
10. Moonraker
11. Octopussy
12. On Her Majesty's Secret Service
13. Diamonds are Forever
14. The Spy Who Loved Me

Villains:

1. Scaramanga (The Man With the Golden Gun)
2. Jaws (The Spy Who Loved Me & Moonraker)
3. OddJob (Goldfinger)
4. Goldfinger (Goldfinger)
5. Stromberg (The Spy Who Loved Me)
6. Largo (Never Say Never Again)
7. Donald "Red" Grant (From Russia With Love)
8. Largo (Thunderball)
9. Dr. No (Dr. No)
10. Kristatos (For Your Eyes Only)
11. Blofeld (You Only Live Twice)
12. Hugo Drax (Moonraker)
13. Kamal (Octopussy)
14. Blofeld (Diamonds are Forever)
15. Kananga (Live and Let Die)
16. Blofeld (On Her Majesty's Secret Service)

Girls:

1. Honey Ryder (Ursula Andress in Dr. No)
2. Tiffany Case (Jill St. John in Diamonds are Forever)
3. Goodnight (Britt Ekland in The Man with the Golden Gun)
4. Domino (Claudine Auger in Thunderball)
5. Domino (Kim Basinger in Never Say Never Again)
6. Tatiana Romanova (Daniela Bianchi in From Russia With Love)
7. Solitare (Jane Seymour in Live and Let Die)
8. Pussy Galore (Honor Blackman in Goldfinger)
9. Kissy (Mie Hama in You Only Live Twice)
10. Octopussy (Maud Adams in Octopussy)
11. Melina Havelock (Carole Bouquet in For Your Eyes Only)
12. Holly Goodhead (Lois Chiles in Moonraker)
13. Agent XXX (Barbara Bach in The Spy Who Loved Me)
14. Tracy (Diana Rigg in On Her Majesty's Secret Service)

[ShogunRua]

I think you're the first person in history who likes Octopussy (easily my least favorite of the Moore Bonds) more than either Diamonds are Forever (my favorite Connery Bond) or The Spy Who Loved Me.

Also, Maud Adams is a beauty, and I'm fine with older women (she was 38 at the time), but her appearance in Octopussy just made me how much better-looking she was 9 years ago in The Man The Golden Gun.

[Pickpocket]

I think you're the first person in history who likes Octopussy (easily my least favorite of the Moore Bonds) more than either Diamonds are Forever (my favorite Connery Bond) or The Spy Who Loved Me.

Diamonds are Forever is fine as a standalone film but the multiple changes of actors are confusing and hurt the continuity.

Also, Maud Adams is a beauty, and I'm fine with older women (she was 38 at the time), but her appearance in Octopussy just made me how much better-looking she was 9 years ago in The Man The Golden Gun.

Agreed, it's just comparing her to the others it's not really hard to see where she ranks. It's honestly a testament to how attractive she was to not be ranked last as a 38 year old going up against much younger counterparts.

[mattorama12]

Connery is such a natty stickman

What a great turn of phrase, I hope you don't mind if I borrow it. Out of curiosity, are you ranking the Bond girls simply on looks or something more?

Also, between this thread and now Hulu pushing the Bond collection, I decided to check out Dr. No. It's really fun, even though it had some pacing issues that you'd expect from a movie of that era. Connery is really amazing. I've never seen any of the Lazenby, Moore, or Dalton movies, but it's pretty much impossible for me to imagine a better Bond than Connery.

[Pickpocket]

Connery is such a natty stickman

What a great turn of phrase, I hope you don't mind if I borrow it.

I can't take credit for it. I heard it on the Bill Simmons podcast with Michael Rappaport as a guest and it made me laugh. He was talking about working with Sly Stallone and he was asking him about the set of Rocky. Sly said that Burgess Meredith was one of the all time great stickmen in the world and that Sly had to get him to leave Talia Shire alone on the set. Then they started talking about the more modern stickmen, notably Leo "he's had them all."

Out of curiosity, are you ranking the Bond girls simply on looks or something more?

Just looks, I'm keeping it as misogynistic as the BP crowd would lead you to believe these films are.

Also, between this thread and now Hulu pushing the Bond collection, I decided to check out Dr. No. It's really fun, even though it had some pacing issues that you'd expect from a movie of that era. Connery is really amazing. I've never seen any of the Lazenby, Moore, or Dalton movies, but it's pretty much impossible for me to imagine a better Bond than Connery.

Dr. No is always near the top of these best of Bond lists and I haven't found that to be the case. They get kind of muddled because they are all watchable or at the very least entertaining but Dr. No, I think, gets a lot of love because it was the first. However, it's hard to argue that the films don't get better with each outing until You Only Live Twice

[mattorama12]

Just looks, I'm keeping it as misogynistic as the BP crowd would lead you to believe these films are.

Nothing wrong with that, since the Bond girls serve no purpose other than sexual objects for Bond. And even having seen only a few of the movies, I think I'll agree with you putting Honey Ryder at #1. Sorry if I'm missing something obvious, but "BP crowd"? Not sure who that's referring to.

Dr. No is always near the top of these best of Bond lists and I haven't found that to be the case. They get kind of muddled because they are all watchable or at the very least entertaining but Dr. No, I think, gets a lot of love because it was the first. However, it's hard to argue that the films don't get better with each outing until You Only Live Twice

Assuming the collection with be available on Hulu for a while, I'll probably get to some of the others in the next few months. I'd always wanted to see all of the Connery installments at the very least.

[Pickpocket]

Loving the John Glen Bond films. A View to a Kill is really underrated and my favorite Moore Bond. And Max Zorin has been the best villain. Rich, charming, sadistic, Russian, a Nazi experiment, and dreams of the death of millions. AKA the perfect Bond villain. All I could think of when Q was creeping on Bond at the end: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DBzYSA0jfOw

1. Goldfinger
2. From Russia With Love
3. A View to a Kill
4. Live and Let Die
5. Thunderball
6. Never Say Never Again
7. For Your Eyes Only
8. Dr. No
9. You Only Live Twice
10. The Man With the Golden Gun
11. Moonraker
12. Octopussy
13. On Her Majesty's Secret Service
14. Diamonds are Forever
15. The Spy Who Loved Me

Villains:

1. Max Zorin (A View to a Kill)
2. Scaramanga (The Man With the Golden Gun)
3. Jaws (The Spy Who Loved Me & Moonraker)
4. OddJob (Goldfinger)
5. Goldfinger (Goldfinger)
6. Stromberg (The Spy Who Loved Me)
7. Largo (Never Say Never Again)
8. Donald "Red" Grant (From Russia With Love)
9. Largo (Thunderball)
10. Dr. No (Dr. No)
11. Kristatos (For Your Eyes Only)
12. Blofeld (You Only Live Twice)
13. Hugo Drax (Moonraker)
14. Kamal (Octopussy)
15. Blofeld (Diamonds are Forever)
16. Kananga (Live and Let Die)
17. Blofeld (On Her Majesty's Secret Service)

Girls:

1. Honey Ryder (Ursula Andress in Dr. No)
2. Tiffany Case (Jill St. John in Diamonds are Forever)
3. Goodnight (Britt Ekland in The Man with the Golden Gun)
4. Domino (Claudine Auger in Thunderball)
5. Stacey Sutton (Tanya Roberts in A View to a Kill)
6. Domino (Kim Basinger in Never Say Never Again)
7. Tatiana Romanova (Daniela Bianchi in From Russia With Love)
8. Solitare (Jane Seymour in Live and Let Die)
9. Pussy Galore (Honor Blackman in Goldfinger)
10. Kissy (Mie Hama in You Only Live Twice)
11. Octopussy (Maud Adams in Octopussy)
12. Melina Havelock (Carole Bouquet in For Your Eyes Only)
13. Holly Goodhead (Lois Chiles in Moonraker)
14. Agent XXX (Barbara Bach in The Spy Who Loved Me)
15. Tracy (Diana Rigg in On Her Majesty's Secret Service)

[ShogunRua]

I love Connery's Bond and so does everyone else, but there is a large minority of people with certain tastes that prefer Moore. To give you an idea, on Cinemageddon, Moore is widely considered the best Bond.

So mattorama12, I would definitely give a Moore picture or two a shot after you're done with the Connery set.

Just looks, I'm keeping it as misogynistic as the BP crowd would lead you to believe these films are.

Nothing wrong with that, since the Bond girls serve no purpose other than sexual objects for Bond.

In the movies, maybe. In the books, not at all. In fact, Honey Ryder is a brilliant character, arguably the best female in all of pulp literature. (And I read a fair amount of the genre) I even wrote a review stating as much on Goodreads.

Naturally, on Goodreads, the most popular reviews, by good little SJWs engaged in the typical groupthink, nevertheless denounce her as "sexist". At the time I was really annoyed, and even posted in the comments of a popular review.

I soon realized how useless this was, like discussing science with religious zealots who can barely spell their own name but think book learning is sinful. None of these muppets could discuss the textual evidence of Fleming's portrayal, and most hadn't even read the damn book. But goddamn, were they convinced it was "sexist"!

As much as I love Ursula Andress, and as generally faithful as the movie was to the book, they do an enormous disservice to the character of Honeychilde Ryder.