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Jerky

Criticker Zealot - 5898 Film Ratings

Member Since: Oct 17, 2010

Location: Montreal, Canada

Age: 42

Gender: Male

Bio: I like your face. I really do. If you like my face......send me a message and tell me all about it. Do you like high fives? I'll give you 6 of them for free. Ask for 7 and our friendship is OVER! You hear me? I don't joke about these things. I only joke about Roof Koreans. Ask your mom. She knows.
more Featured Reviews
30 9% A Good Day to Die Hard (2013) - Jun 11, 2013
"Remember when John McLane was just a regular cop, who could die at any moment during the Nakatomi Plaza heist? Now apparently he's James Bond and Superman rolled into one"
75 93% Dave Chappelle: Sticks & Stones (2019) - Sep 04, 2019
"If you're WOKE, you better put 0 as your score or else I'm going to report you to the SJW Police (aka Vice, Salon, Vox, Buzzfeed, Slate)"
35 14% Model by Day (1994) - Nov 21, 2010
"This is when I first "discovered" Famke Janssen. I was 17 when I stumbled upon this "gem" of scantily clad models in skin tight outfits fighting crime. It was 2 in the morning and I was in bed flipping through channels. Age 17 + 2am + in my bed + sexy women on tv =? I'll let you do the math!"
80 96% Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017) - Aug 20, 2017
"What I said in my "Civil War" review holds up nicely here...Tom Holland is the BEST Spider-Man! While I still think Raimi's Spider-Man 2 is the best Spidey flick, this one gets extra bonus points for not doing another origin story, and connecting it to the MCU with just a few scenes. Keaton improved on what was a terrible villain in the comics, the Vulture...basically just an old bird man. Wait....BIRD MAN you say...my god!!!!! Mind blown."
85 98% Avengers: Endgame (2019) - Jun 13, 2019
"Marvel presents "Ocean's Eleven!" After 11 years, 22 films, 50+ heroes/villains and 48 hours of screen time, the MCU gets a much deserved and earned finale. Credit goes to all involved, in tying up loose ends, ending character arcs on a satisfying level, and wrapping up an entire universe with a big red ribbon. What I'm saying is that Marvel did in 48 hours what Game of Thrones couldn't do in 70 hours, with half the amount of story arcs. Ya blew it HBO....ya blew it!"
30 9% Mac and Me (1988) - Oct 24, 2010
"That fucking McDonald's dance scene has fueled my nightmares for 30 years!"
40 24% Taken 2 (2012) - Dec 20, 2012
"The Bourne Paternity!"
75 93% The Shape of Water (2017) - Mar 09, 2018
"The only "mute, friggin' herself in a tub" film you'll ever need! "
80 96% Saw (2004) - Oct 18, 2010
"Anyone who says they saw the twist coming is a FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT NO GOOD LIAR BASTARD OF A BITCH AND I'LL "VAN DAMME" THEIR GOD DAMN HEAD OFF. Best ending ever!"
35 14% Transformers: Dark of the Moon (2011) - Oct 06, 2011
"Michael Bay has found a way to make giant robots and explosions boring. Good job!"