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Jerky

Criticker Zealot - 5794 Film Ratings

Member Since: Oct 17, 2010

Location: Montreal, Canada

Age: 42

Gender: Male

Bio: All your stars are belong to us.
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60 73% Captain Phillips (2013) - Dec 11, 2013
"They should have hired Steven Seagal as the cook on this ship. Things would have ended a lot sooner. On that same note, why don't these shipping companies hire private security with weapons for these runs? I'm pretty sure you can shoot a couple of Somalians in the head in international waters without it being a crime. I'm gonna open a school for sniper training and then contract them out to cargo ships sailing around Africa. I'm gonna be rich kid!!!! "
80 96% Saw (2004) - Oct 18, 2010
"Anyone who says they saw the twist coming is a FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT NO GOOD LIAR BASTARD OF A BITCH AND I'LL "VAN DAMME" THEIR GOD DAMN HEAD OFF. Best ending ever!"
35 14% Transformers: Dark of the Moon (2011) - Oct 06, 2011
"Michael Bay has found a way to make giant robots and explosions boring. Good job!"
45 36% It Takes Two (1988) - Dec 31, 2016
"This is a film that was always stuck in the back of my mind since childhood. Hostess Potato Chips used to put movie stickers in bags of chips back in the 80's, and this was one of them, except that it was called "My New Car" Throughout the 90's, I tried to track this film down to view it, without much success, then ultimately forgot about it. Now having finally seen it, I should have thrown that sticker in the trash back in 1988!"
30 9% A Good Day to Die Hard (2013) - Jun 11, 2013
"Remember when John McLane was just a regular cop, who could die at any moment during the Nakatomi Plaza heist? Now apparently he's James Bond and Superman rolled into one"
35 14% Model by Day (1994) - Nov 21, 2010
"This is when I first "discovered" Famke Janssen. I was 17 when I stumbled upon this "gem" of scantily clad models in skin tight outfits fighting crime. It was 2 in the morning and I was in bed flipping through channels. Age 17 + 2am + in my bed + sexy women on tv =? I'll let you do the math!"
75 93% The Shape of Water (2017) - Mar 09, 2018
"The only "mute, friggin' herself in a tub" film you'll ever need! "
80 96% Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017) - Aug 20, 2017
"What I said in my "Civil War" review holds up nicely here...Tom Holland is the BEST Spider-Man! While I still think Raimi's Spider-Man 2 is the best Spidey flick, this one gets extra bonus points for not doing another origin story, and connecting it to the MCU with just a few scenes. Keaton improved on what was a terrible villain in the comics, the Vulture...basically just an old bird man. Wait....BIRD MAN you say...my god!!!!! Mind blown."
40 24% Taken 2 (2012) - Dec 20, 2012
"The Bourne Paternity!"
70 89% Interstellar (2014) - Apr 25, 2015
"Coolest part about this film was not knowing the casting (besides McConaughey), then when I first heard TARS, I said to myself, "hmmm...they got Matt Damon for the voice", then when I heard CASE, I thought "hmmm..Casey Afleck is the voice for this one".....then the film proceeded to blow my mind as both Damon and Affleck showed up on screen. Looking at the credits, I learn that neither voiced either robot. Then I realized the tv was off the whole time!!! And now I'm standing right behind you."