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Velvet Crowe

Cinema Addict - 2125 Film Ratings

Member Since: Jun 3, 2010

Location: Halifax, Nova Scotia, Canada

Age: 27

Gender: Male

Bio: Anything above a 70 is generally what I'd considered "good." Anything below that is either mediocre or bad.
more Featured Reviews
100 99% Legend of the Galactic Heroes (1988) - Sep 05, 2015
"One of the greatest epics ever written, also one of if not the greatest anime ever made. The political aspects of the show are thought provoking and intriguing, characterization is rich and diverse as it even delves into the lives of the common folk, and the deaths are often tragic and depressing. Sometimes the stories of individual episodes don't really hit a high note and the animation can be spotty at times, but ultimately this is a show that no one should miss if they enjoy good stories."
10 5% La La Land (2016) - Jan 21, 2017
"What a boring fucking movie. The main protagonists are pretentious art students lacking in charisma or believability. The songs are often times intrusive to the plot and add nothing to the story, made worse by the fact that the songs themselves are typical broadway musical crap and they rarely utilize actual jazz. The conflict is extremely forced and is resolved in the most disingenuous and ham-fisted way imaginable. This is easily one of the most overrated films of 2016. I don't get the appeal."
30 25% The Hunger Games (2012) - Jul 12, 2014
"This is probably the most vapid "battle Royale-eque" thing I've ever watch. The society and rules make no sense, the social commentary is toddler tier non-sense, the action is shit and they do a piss poor job of making a believable cast with real economic divides. In the end the movie feels like it aims to appeal to the high school Twilight loving female demographic in order to make a profit while trying to mask this with "social commentary" that doesn't really say anything at all."
35 32% World War Z (2013) - Dec 10, 2014
"Can't say I was surprised by this movie's awfulness, but did they REALLY need to take the name of a generally respected novel and then hardly use anything from said book? The movie follows every Hollywood disaster/zombie flick cliche as if it was routine, to the point they even use all the stock sound effects and music you've heard from other movies. The poor writing, child acting and inconsistent plot didn't make it better. Am I supposed to be impressed by any of this?"
55 58% Lincoln (2012) - Aug 02, 2013
"It's pretty damn predictable stuff that's too drawn out for its own good. I can only take so many scenes of Daniel Day Lewis with a halo on top of his head without losing interest. Had this movie opted for something that wasn't so damn safe and hadn't lionized Lincoln to such a retarded degree the movie may have been better. Frankly I find the movie too hollywood for what it could have been and everything just felt too... typical. Typical of the sort of shit that give oscar givers boners."
10 5% Atop the Fourth Wall (2008) - Sep 13, 2015
"As a massive fan of comics{capes especially},I honestly can't stand this hack. Linkara can sometimes put out a review that's tolerable like his Ultimatum review or his retrospective on Power Rangers,otherwise he's a completely insufferable "feminist" who pushes his agenda a lot and has virtually no comedic talent. His skits are TRULY the bottom of the barrel when it comes to entertainment and are nothing but borderline cringe. Not to mention his opinions on comics themselves are generally vapid."
50 52% Geri's Game (1997) - Apr 16, 2014
"THIS IS IT! THE MOST DEEPEST OF THE DEEPEST! EVANGELION? SPACE ODYSSEY 2001? MEGUCA 5.32131? NONE ARE AS DEEP AS THIS MASTERPIECE RIGHT HERE! LOOK AT THIS MOTHERFUCKER AS HE TRIES TO PLAY A SOLO GAME OF GODDAMN CHEESE! DAMN! THAT EXISTENTIALIST CRISIS IS STRONG WITH THIS NIGGAH! IT'S SO DEEP THAT I WAS LEFT IN DEEP AND PROFOUND THOUGHT WHEN HE TURNED OVER THE CHASE BOARD TO FAIRLY PROVE THAT HE WAS THE VIKTOR AND THAT HIS SISTR SHOULD JUST GIVE UP AND ADMIT DEFEAT! THAT SEX IN THE END WAS HAWT!"
85 94% Texhnolyze (2003) - Nov 14, 2015
"Fascinating and beautifully animated cyberpunk world that is also simultaneously one of the most depressing series I've ever watched. Bleak as it is, I also admire its experimentation when it comes to how each scene is shot and the themes it touches upon, in particular the concepts of ego and technology. The show can be pretty hard to get into as the first few episodes are extremely incoherent and kinda dull, but with enough patience the show shines extremely well."
16 10% The Rosie O'Donnell Show (1996) - Oct 22, 2015
"Rosie is a fat, annoying idiot who passes off too hard on trying to come off as "nice" but ends up being insufferable. This show is labelled as a "comedy," but I fail to see where the jokes are. It's nothing more than a terrible soapbox for a women who has extremely narrow minded opinions about subjects she clearly knows little about. Not to mention she was often times a mean spirited, hypocritical cunt who screams at guests and bullies others. "Queen of nice" my ass."
84 93% Ai no mukidashi (2008) - May 05, 2017
"That was one of the most insane 4 hours I've ever experienced... and I liked it! It's like the director decided to give a big middle finger to every film convention imaginable to create one of the most ridiculous films in existence."