Criticker.com uses cookies to recognize visitors and provide a better experience. Learn more about how we use cookies in our privacy policy. By continuing to use the site, or by pressing agree, you are giving your consent to our use of cookies.
login | register
0 film ratings
Velvet Crowe

Cinema Addict - 2101 Film Ratings

Member Since: Jun 3, 2010

Location: Halifax, Nova Scotia, Canada

Age: 26

Gender: Male

Bio: Anything above a 70 is generally what I'd considered "good." Anything below that is either mediocre or bad.
more Featured Reviews
91 97% The Wind Will Carry Us (1999) - Jul 10, 2018
"A narratively basic film that resonates with profound themes and avoids typical filmmaking conventions, evoking scenes of serene beauty and strangely light-hearted feelings despite the connotations of life and death. An unorthodox film where not much happens but many things are imminent, pushing an interesting dichotomy between the speedy needs of the engineer and the slow, milquetoast lifestyle of the people in the village. Certainly amog Kiarostami's best, especially in terms of visual flair."
22 16% Ender's Game (2013) - Aug 26, 2016
"Nice visual imagery aside, the movie sucked as much as the book did. For starters, the premise is utterly retarded. Why is it that a military with plentiful trained personnel would rely on a group of kids that they themselves are training to win a war instead of... I dunno... fighting in the war themselves? That's not to mention the painfully contrived ending, mary sue nature of Ender and lame side characters. At least it didn't have the moronic "kid rules the world with the internet" subplot."
30 25% The Hunger Games (2012) - Jul 12, 2014
"This is probably the most vapid "battle Royale-eque" thing I've ever watch. The society and rules make no sense, the social commentary is toddler tier non-sense, the action is shit and they do a piss poor job of making a believable cast with real economic divides. In the end the movie feels like it aims to appeal to the high school Twilight loving female demographic in order to make a profit while trying to mask this with "social commentary" that doesn't really say anything at all."
100 99% Legend of the Galactic Heroes (1988) - Sep 05, 2015
"One of the greatest epics ever written, also one of if not the greatest anime ever made. The political aspects of the show are thought provoking and intriguing, characterization is rich and diverse as it even delves into the lives of the common folk, and the deaths are often tragic and depressing. Sometimes the stories of individual episodes don't really hit a high note and the animation can be spotty at times, but ultimately this is a show that no one should miss if they enjoy good stories."
26 22% RWBY (2012) - Oct 22, 2015
"Remember when you were 13 and had this awesome idea for a show, but then you grew up and realized it was a terrible idea? That's this show in a nutshell. The plot is extremely idiotic, bolstered by annoying characters with annoying voices. To its credit, the choreography could be pretty good but that's brought down heavily by its clunky and awful animation and the amount of emphasis they put on its shitty plot. Even the most vapid of animes had plots more intelligible than this shit. "
50 52% Geri's Game (1997) - Apr 16, 2014
"THIS IS IT! THE MOST DEEPEST OF THE DEEPEST! EVANGELION? SPACE ODYSSEY 2001? MEGUCA 5.32131? NONE ARE AS DEEP AS THIS MASTERPIECE RIGHT HERE! LOOK AT THIS MOTHERFUCKER AS HE TRIES TO PLAY A SOLO GAME OF GODDAMN CHEESE! DAMN! THAT EXISTENTIALIST CRISIS IS STRONG WITH THIS NIGGAH! IT'S SO DEEP THAT I WAS LEFT IN DEEP AND PROFOUND THOUGHT WHEN HE TURNED OVER THE CHASE BOARD TO FAIRLY PROVE THAT HE WAS THE VIKTOR AND THAT HIS SISTR SHOULD JUST GIVE UP AND ADMIT DEFEAT! THAT SEX IN THE END WAS HAWT!"
10 5% La La Land (2016) - Jan 21, 2017
"What a boring fucking movie. The main protagonists are pretentious art students lacking in charisma or believability. The songs are often times intrusive to the plot and add nothing to the story, made worse by the fact that the songs themselves are typical broadway musical crap and they rarely utilize actual jazz. The conflict is extremely forced and is resolved in the most disingenuous and ham-fisted way imaginable. This is easily one of the most overrated films of 2016. I don't get the appeal."
35 32% World War Z (2013) - Dec 10, 2014
"Can't say I was surprised by this movie's awfulness, but did they REALLY need to take the name of a generally respected novel and then hardly use anything from said book? The movie follows every Hollywood disaster/zombie flick cliche as if it was routine, to the point they even use all the stock sound effects and music you've heard from other movies. The poor writing, child acting and inconsistent plot didn't make it better. Am I supposed to be impressed by any of this?"
85 94% Monster (2003) - May 25, 2017
"Fantastic performance by Theron, giving life to what is also a fantastic film. I dug the subtle and slow development of Aileen as a character as bits and pieces of her past are revealed throughout the film. Perhaps the film humanized her more than what Aileen deserved in reality, but I consider it an impressive feat to make someone sympathetic of a serial killer. I even liked the cheesy music they played, which encapsulated the delusions of grandeur of the main protagonists."
20 13% Criminal Minds (2005) - Nov 06, 2015
"Slightly less idiotic than CSI, but still pretty shitty.The characters are all one-dimensional cliches which range from being bland and boring to annoying and insufferable.That aside, there's the usual bullshit you'll see in crime shows like this: the tech person's absurd ability to somehow find data that shouldn't exist, the protagonists violating FBI policies constantly and the absurdity of serial killers killing dozens of people on a weekly basis.Then, this show wants me to take it seriously."