Film Freak - 719 Film Ratings
Member Since: Apr 7, 2016
|43 23%||Octopussy (1983) - Nov 09, 2018
"Octopussy is a mix of Austin Powers, The Naked Gun, The A-Team, Indiana Jones and a super-serious spyfilm with an atomic threat. Guess what, that doesn't work. Some of the jokes are ok but fall flat. The plot starts ridiculous (MI5 investigates jewel theft) and never gets interesting because you already know what will happen. If you cut 30 minutes of "serious" stuff and Moore (55) staring at breasts (~20) it might be an effective spoof. Also her dad called her Octopussy? Is her last name Trump?"
|39 15%||The Ipcress File (1965) - Nov 09, 2018
"Michael Caine stars as 'middling charismatic guy'. He likes champignons, Mozart and staring creepily at women. I kept waiting for him to tip his fedora and go "M'lady". The plot is interesting at first but the pacing is terrible. The film has a quick start, gets bogged down in a swamp only to end in about 5 minutes. The villains aren't given any motive, which makes the Scooby Doo reveal near the end only sillier. Oh yeah, and the music is sleep-inducing and awful."
|62 41%||Double Indemnity (1944) - Nov 01, 2018
"This is one of those classics that doesn't live up to its reputation. The dialogue is fun, the atmosphere is great and the story is somewhat engaging. On the other hand, the world feels 'dead', there are a few too many unrealistic plot elements, Walter is a creep and it's about 15 minutes too long. The biggest problem is that the two main characters have no chemistry. This makes Walter falling so hard for someone as unattractive as Phyllis come off as really weird."
|41 23%||Troll 2 (1990) - Nov 01, 2018
"The camera work, sound and special effects of Troll 2 are all decent (aside from one goofy goblin). This makes the other parts seem so weirdly bad in comparison. The acting is amateurish, aside from Reed hamming it up. Much of the dialogue feels unnatural, and the story is nonsensical. Where it really shines is the utter insanity of the writers. The overabundance of green food, the corncob sex scene, apples in the fridge. Few things have made me laugh as hard as the "don't let them eat" scene."
|49 24%||Ingrid Goes West (2017) - Oct 21, 2018
"The main problem with the movie is that it throws a bunch of balls into the air but the writers forgot about gravity so they never drop. The movie is charming despite opening with the inevitable ending, but it completely fails to present the characters as real people in a real world with consequences. Are we're really supposed to believe Ezra keeps tolerating Nicky? Why isn't Taylor bothered by her stalker living next-door? Is Dan a robot programmed to always forgive Ingrid? It makes no sense."
|35 14%||Byzantium (2012) - Oct 09, 2018
"Byzantium is a mess that's all over the place. Clara's backstory is fairly nonsensical and the rest of the script isn't much better. Eleanor steps into the street, 'Macaulay Culkin' falls and magically cuts his wrist, she visits him in the hospital and now they're in love? The movie meanders from one convenient event to the next. It doesn't help that Eleanor is mopier than Bella, or that Clara is unsympathetic. A film either has to make you care or entertain you, this does neither decently."
|34 14%||The New York Ripper (1982) - Oct 09, 2018
"This is a case of "the trailer is better than the movie". You see an ad for a movie about a serial killer who talks like a duck, so you would expect a comedy right? Instead, it's played 100% completely straight and the hilarious quacking scenes are supposed to be menacing. The tonal disonance completely disolves all tension. The murders become boring instead of gruesome. It doesn't help that the psychoanalyst's magical diagnoses are a complete joke too. And you know who did it halfway through."
|22 5%||Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets (2017) - Oct 09, 2018
"Valerian starts out promising with interesting worldbuilding and aliens. Sadly, the movie goes downhill after 5 minutes. The following "white Avatar" bit completely fails to set up the story. Next we meet Valerian, the ridiculously miscast DeHaan. He's supposed to be handsome and charismatic, but he's a creepy mumbling boy. The next two hours you have to sit through a really bad script that alternates between nonsensical and predictable. It feels like a Star Wars prequel."
|17 1%||Where the Buffalo Roam (1980) - Sep 21, 2018
"I'll say this for Murray; he tried, he really did. He just has rather limited range and lacks the schwung required pull of a movie that's about a person rather than a story. The film is a handful of loosely connected scenes about a guy who is in love with himself, so casting Murray makes total sense. Aside from the boredom because of the lack of anything happening, there's an overwhelming feeling of vicarious embarassment. There are people over the age of 12 who think this is cool and edgy? Wow."
|19 1%||Cheech and Chong's Up in Smoke (1978) - Sep 21, 2018
"Up In Smoke is a bunch of boring, incoherent nonsense. Several times the flimsy "story" simply skips ahead, leaving you wondering if you missed something. One moment they're in court, the next they're at someone's home in a band they apparently joined. Most of the "jokes" revolve around someone getting high, which always instantly makes people mellow and hungry. A man gets high and in the next shot he buys a bunch of burgers. Haha. The only amusement came from the weird Dutch translation."