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gogokain

Film Freak - 953 Film Ratings

Member Since: Oct 7, 2006

Location: Colorado, USA

Bio: If you don't like the movie, I've got slides!
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100 99% Star Wars: Episode V - The Empire Strikes Back (1980) - Dec 27, 2007
"George Lucas should call Irvin Kershner every day and thank him for tricking the world into thinking he's worth a shit. A big zero for the SPECIAL EDITIONS."
4% Star Wars: Episode II - Attack of the Clones (2002) - Dec 27, 2007
"The acting is horrible, environments fake looking, and the dialogue incredibly generic and wooden. It'll take everything you know and love about Star Wars from your childhood and just fuck it, fuck it over and over again until it's chaffed, raw, bloody, and begging you to stop. Want to have the mystery of Boba Fett completely ruined and see his fucking face? Well here's your chance! Hayden Christensen is actually WORSE than Jake Lloyd! What Plan 9 would be with a multimillion dollar budget."
20 32% 2001: A Space Odyssey (1968) - Dec 27, 2007
"Yes, yes. I know. Maybe I just didn't "get it." But my god, what a fucking boring movie. It's like they were intentionally fucking with you... "hey, let's see if we can get away with this guy breathing over and over again for 20 minutes!". Yeah, I don't give a shit if it's supposed to make you feel like you're there or whatever. It's still fucking MINUTES UPON MINUTES OF NOTHING HAPPENING. THAT IS NOT GOOD FILM. And the ending? What a cop out. "
12% Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li (2009) - Mar 09, 2009
"This is terrible for a movie, but it's even worse for a live action Street Fighter movie. Which says a lot, considering the only other movie in that category. Enjoy fine dialogue such as "Your father has been the milk of my operation, but even milk has an expiration date". Laugh as "that kinda hot girl from Smallville" tries and fails to carry a Hollywood film all on her own. Cry as Robin Shou mispronounces "Ryu". Despair as Chris Klein sets the craft of acting back to the precambrian era. "
35 42% Girls Town (1959) - May 07, 2008
"Someone invent a time machine so I can go back and plow the crap out of 1959 Mamie Van Doren."
12% The Violent Years (1956) - Mar 15, 2009
"Only Ed Wood could manage to write a BAD movie featuring a reverse gang rape."
35 42% The Lost World: Jurassic Park (1997) - Dec 27, 2007
"Welcome... to EXPOSITION PARK. Damned awful and just silly. "High bar'd the raptor" should be right there with "jumped the shark" and "nuked the fridge.""
12% Friday the 13th (2009) - Feb 26, 2009
"So Jason takes prisoners now? Should I even ask why Jason never killed the douchebag guy or his family on previous trips to the lake house? Or why that old lady said he wanted to be left alone and then he kills some people who weren't really bothering him? Some really horrible dialogue here for a movie that wants me to take it seriously. Dump the killer in the lake? Oh good, now they'll just think you killed all those people, great job. All those boobs and only one set was even worth looking at."