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Criticker Zealot - 6807 Film Ratings

Member Since: Apr 26, 2008

more Featured Reviews
50 26% Teenage Twins (1976) - Mar 28, 2020
"There was a weird trope in 'classic' porn of one sister turning out another, sometimes for kicks, sometimes for cash, still others for Cthulu. (Actually typing that out now I realize it's just an update of the white slavery trope of ye olde bawdy potboilers). Anyway this shoulda been the best, with the superkewt Youngs as twins who can feel each other's orgasms and Baba Booey's gross uncle as their college professor stepdad who is attempting to track down the Necronomicon oh hey look 500 charac"
75 63% First Reformed (2018) - Sep 10, 2019
""If it comes to a choice between the extermination of the fowls of the air and the lilies of the field and the extermination of a building fund, the organized church will elect--indeed, has already elected--to save the building fund...No wonder so many sermons are devoted exclusively to "spiritual" subjects. If one is living by the tithes of history's most destructive economy, then the disembodiment of the soul becomes the chief of worldly conveniences." - Wendell Berry"
75 63% Twisted Issues (1988) - Aug 18, 2018
"Some godless amalgam of surreal splatter comedy, bad skate video, and No Waveish art project on Gainesville scumfucks. Recommended, obviously."
45 21% Triple Frontier (2019) - Sep 06, 2020
"You suspect Boal takes pride in his work being described as "sober", as in a "sober, clear-eyed look at" war or police brutality or ex-mil dirty work. (HURT LOCKER is kinda the Alcoholics Anonymous of war movies: strenuous claims of non-politics obscuring a deeply political nature very friendly to American industry.) Just park him in a ten-year TV show and get Bigelow back to high-grade schlock. Chandor will be fine if he can remember the difference between sober and sobering."
10 4% Amityville 3-D (1983) - Nov 04, 2020
"Why didn't Lori Loughlin just bribe the house?"
95 95% Perceval le Gallois (1978) - Oct 09, 2020
"Though the aesthetic is part of a specific agenda, the variety/richness of its pleasures prompt a pang for the near-absence of hist. films risking anything like it. How nice to feast your eyes on action & handmade sets for their cultivated fakeness rather than avert your eyes from CG equivalents' standardized fakeness. Rohmer's remarks that true modernity involves fidelity to the past find an echo in Wendell Berry: if using a computer is a new choice, then choosing not to use one is even newer."
55 31% Sully (2016) - Sep 27, 2020
"In Eastwood's 4000th remake of SERGEANT YORK, the Germans are the National Transportation Safety Board. Things are getting weird. Really is one of the oddest recent "big" films. Punchy shameless strawman tone poem. The hatchet job is obvious from Gunn & O'Malley's first scene: for what they're trying to do, their approach makes no sense. You can hardly believe the thing's so simple-minded, yet the critique of simple-minded fealty to tech at the expense of lived experience is faithful and vital"
70 52% The Seduction of Misty Mundae (2004) - Apr 17, 2020
"when ur quarantine becomes one of those twilight zones with the stressed businessman going back to his hometown except it's with stuff u spanked it to in 10th grade"
50 26% When the Game Stands Tall (2014) - Jun 12, 2019
"All the Luke talk makes you wonder if the sins of Vic Mackey are why Chiklis is the comic relief assistant coach in a Christian Friday Night Lights rip. That said, this feints toward some interesting places, like the homoerotic relationship between two black players or the sadomasochistic one between Clancy Brown's superfan and his son, the weird intensity of which almost transcends the cliché. Real sad you gotta go to a God flick now to see humility & self-denial portrayed as moral strength"
90 88% Legendary Nights (2003) - Oct 10, 2020
"Great, occasionally shocking interviews (Duva on Taylor, yeesh), style of each episode well-tailored to the fight(s), which include some of the most insane things to ever air on TV: Flight of the Fan Man; Foreman winning the heavyweight championship at 45; and in its way craziest of all, the surreal self-sabotage of total head-case Andrew Golota, who twice threw away one-sided victories over the formidable Riddick Bowe by brutally, compulsively battering Bowe's testicles. O sweet science!"