Ununnilium
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| 86 84% | The Big O (1999) - Mar 21, 2023
"Part of the end-of-the-millennium trend of existentialist sci-fi noir, with influence from Batman, Go Nagai, and Eva, The Big O is stylistically wonderful, with strong characters and good themes. The actual mystery aspect is a little rough sometimes, especially when it gets into Baudrillard territory, but ultimately it's a strong and worthwhile addition to this school of thought, and also R. Dorothy Wayneright is one of the best deadpan snarkers in any medium."
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| 58 38% | Conan the Destroyer (1984) - Mar 18, 2023
"It's... okay! From its reputation, I expected this to be a blight on Conan's good (?) name, but while it doesn't have the artsy ambitions of its predecessor, it's a kind of generic but basically enjoyable D&D-ish adventure. And Grace Jones lights up the screen every time she's on it. If you like 80s fantasy quests, you'll probably have a reasonably enjoyable time with this. (But wow, it really did not need racially unfortunate cannibal savages. On screen for less than five minutes, but still...)"
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| 37 21% | Muppets from Space (1999) - Mar 16, 2023
"Doesn't understand how the Muppets work, individually or as a group. There's little sense of a close-knit circle of friends, the focus is disproportionately on jokey characters over ones with emotional heft, and worst of all, there's the central concept, that Gonzo, who embraces being a weirdo as a badge of honor, would feel bad about being a "one-of-a-kind freak". Plus, a bunch of odd Muppet/human sexual tension, including two Miss Piggy fight scenes??? Doesn't bring the laughs or the feels."
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| 19 9% | The Apple (1980) - Mar 11, 2023
"A disco movie made for people who hate disco. I can't say I didn't have fun with the manic energy and the hallucinatory glam, but this really is part of the whole scene that hated that queer music by black people was so popular, and yearned for an idealized, imaginary 1960s full of straightedge white hippies playing extremely bland rock and roll. Plus it just beats the stuffing out of your brain with its constant everything. I'm glad I watched it once for the nonsense, but I'm not coming back."
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| 85 82% | Spider-Man (2002) - Mar 06, 2023
"This was the model for so many later superhero movies, and when it's doing standard action, drama or romance, many of them do it better. But when it leans into its own sense of exaggerated, comic-booky reality, it pulls off moments of powerful emotion and spectacle that few others have managed to touch. Mugging to the camera, doing Power Rangers kicks, cutting to a sudden closeup, turning people into skeletons - it takes enormous commitment to pull off, but if you do, it's compelling as hell."
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| 59 39% | Rocky IV (1985) - Mar 04, 2023
"After all the ways this was hyped up as a Bad Movie, it was better than I expected. Oh, it's definitely a cheesefest, full of American nationalism, weird editing, odd fight choreography, and an inexplicable comedy robot who's only there because Stallone thought the prop looked cool. But there's some genuine drama in here, with a scene between Apollo and Rocky that has subtlety and verisimilitude, and more than that, it's a sincerely fun experience, good to riff but also good just to soak in."
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| 63 44% | Election (1999) - Feb 27, 2023
"This is an excellent and thorough character study, but god is it hard to watch. The level to which this man is willing to fuck both himself and others over in petty, stupid ways simply because he's been jolted from his mediocre life of coasting on being an okay person is portrayed in incredible, disturbing detail. I don't know that it's meaningfully satire, as such, but it definitely does what it's trying to do. (Also, there sure are a lot of intentionally unsexy sex scenes. That's a thing.)"
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| 34 19% | Dr. Who and the Daleks (1965) - Feb 25, 2023
"Early Doctor Who featured serial stories. The first appearance of the Daleks took seven half-hour episodes, so it makes sense that they'd cut it down for theaters. Unfortunately, of the 80 minutes they kept, the majority of it was filler! I can't believe a colorful adapation of such a colorful series ended up so slow and boring. Plus, while it makes sense that the Daleks were the big selling point, this results in lots of exposition delivered in halting, distorted, robotic voices. Hard to watch."
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| 87 87% | I've Been Killing Slimes for 300 Years and Maxed Out My Level (2021) - Feb 24, 2023
"Absolutely one of the coziest shows I've ever seen, focused on found family and being good to one another, with a main character who, after getting a true chance to recover from capitalism, becomes an impromptu mom, older sister, and occasional caretaker domme - plus, a colorful and fun cast of subverted fantasy archetypes. Throw in some super badass and well-animated yet low-stakes fight scenes and an amazing Celtic soundtrack and you've got yourself a wonderful wind-down show."
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| 95 96% | Princess Mononoke (1997) - Feb 24, 2023
"All of Miyazaki's movies are powerful, pushing the viewer to question deep-held assumptions, but this one cuts deeper than most. It's absolutely the bloodiest and most combat-oriented Ghibli, but that doesn't mean it isn't as caring and kind as all the rest, and that combination slaps you in the face and shouts, "It's not technology, it's not nature, it's trauma, trauma is both the problem and what unites us, it poisons us but we cannot deny it, we have to break the cycle thru absolute love!""
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