Resident Evil

10/13/2024:
Good god, this was so early 2000's. Anyways, I really wanted to like this but it was really really bad. All of the action was subdued and almost nothing was shown. Was this Pg-13 and if so, why could it not have been pushed a bit more. This felt like it went on forever...

Edit 5/15/2026: On reviewing other movies in this franchise, I am raising this from a 2/10 to a 3/10. This movie should feel very lucky!

8/8/2026:
This is my second time watching this PG movie and then I realized it's actually rated R just for a single boob and some of the worst bloody effects I have ever seen. This is so early 2000s, it actually hurts. The CGI is just horrendous and I have no idea why there's a weird framerate issue chosen as an "artistic style" in this. Everything looks so choppy and awful. I would talk about the characters but there are none unless you consider amnesia as a personality trait!

This hurts as a Resident Evil fan as it bastardized pretty much everything that makes Resident Evil great. It really should not be that hard to make a faithful movie on this series but for some reason, no one knows how to make an action horror movie that has puzzles, one-liners, and scary zombies. We will never get a great Resident Evil movie beyond some of the animated ones at this rate...

This is not all that bad. We have Milla Jovovich, and she's probably the only good thing about this movie. She's badass and has probably the closest thing to a character arc. Also, she's hot. No notes. I rated this a 2/10 when I first watched it but as much as I want to, I can't give it that low of a score just because there's so many worse horror movies and this Resident Evil movie hurts less than the other Resident Evil movies I have seen. Also, I have to give the Zach Cregger movie some heights to reach as I highly doubt that piece of shit movie will get above a 2/10...