Christine

[Trigger warning about suicide] It's hard to watch a movie based on a true story and know that the ending is depressing. It becomes incumbent upon the movie to make the journey compelling without reminding the viewer of the obvious conclusion. It has to fill in the blanks without giving away the game. Christine is about reporter Christine Chubbuck, who was the first person to kill themselves on live TV. The movie chronicles the last year or so of her life, as the pieces fall into place that lead her to her fatal and sad decision. With such a terrible destination, a movie could fail in so many ways; it could become a maudlin death march, a lecturing PSA, or a soapy pile of nonsense. Having had a family member take their own lives, this topic was close to my heart in the worst way. We didn't see the signs until after the fact, so watching this tale unfold knowing where its going, I was worried it was just going to be signposts for two hours as Christine was going to be painted as this angel who lost her way. It is a relief that the script does not do such a thing, and Rebecca Hall's performance does not allow for that to occur. Christine is a living, breathing human being in this movie, which means she is flawed. She has a deep sense of morality when it comes to reporting the news; she believes human interest stories and matters of community should be what the news reports. Her station manager, unfortunately, believes in "if it bleeds, it leads", and the ratings back him up. Even when she tries to compromise and report on salacious stories, she presents the human angle, which doesn't please her boss. She is unsatisfied with her job, and she can't imagine anything else, but she can't see that her vision of the news does not mesh with reality. She also harbors a crush on her co-worker, who is interested in someone else. She cannot accept a compliment from anyone and almost antagonistic if someone tries, even as she seeks approval from others (but strictly on her terms). She is also suffering from a cyst that will require an ovary be removed, which will drastically reduce her chances of conception. She is a mess of contradictions, desperate, lonely, and self-deprecating, but driven, fierce, and abrasive. She is her own worst enemy, because getting what she wants in any method other than her terms is failure and all hope is lost. Rebecca Hall brings all this to life in her performance. She makes it so easy to get lost in the moment and hope Christine snaps out of it, accepts the compromise, sees how she is hurting herself by constantly being her own devil on the shoulder. When the final block is knocked out from under Christine -- that she was passed up for a transfer to a bigger market, and that not only is her crush going there, but he requested another woman go with him -- Hall's performance goes from tragic to chilling. People who have made the decision to kill themselves often find an inner peace in their final hours and days. Christine is like that; suddenly, she is personable, cheerful, talking about going out to lunch with a co-worker, going about her day with energy, because she knows her way out of the pain is almost there. Hall's performance here is heart-breaking, because you know she's made her peace. She can't bear it anymore. She almost cracks as she walks to the news desk, but she's not regretting her decision; she's sad and resentful that, in her eyes, life has been nothing but a parade of misery that has given her no alternative. Nobody should ever feel that way. Christine doesn't shy away from the reality at all. It is raw and unflinching and harrowing, but it's never exploitative or crass. This is not a movie you watch for a good time. This is an acting movie, for sure, and an exception one at that. But you have to know going in that this is going to break your heart and, depending on who you are, maybe trigger some emotions. If you can stomach it, though, it's worth it.