Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3

It’s good. It’s watchable. It’s fine. No, really. I know I don’t sound convincing. It really is okay. The alarmists complaining about how dark it is and it needs a parental warning about animal cruelty need to take a nap or something, because it isn’t bad at all (and they’re so obviously CGI, so, calm yourselves). There is some humor still. The villain is truly villainous and a sick bastard. There’s some moments that make you fist pump and some that make you sure someone is cutting onions nearby. Everybody gets some character growth (even if some of it is kinda done last minute), and even though it ends in a going-our-separate-ways series-finale way, it makes sense. I just wish the movie wasn’t so dour. Compared to the previous two, this movie is just dark and lacks the good-natured heart. I wish Adam Warlock hadn’t been built up as this galaxy-crushing threat only to be a total goober and, besides the opening, a non-factor. I wish the death fake outs weren’t so plentiful, because after like the third one, they have no impact. I wish Gamora wasn’t so shrill and unpleasant, and that every scene with her wasn’t an argument, or for that matter, most conversations in this movie are arguments. I wish this wasn’t the movie directly following Quantumania, because the movies look alike, so the wow factor of the CGI here is just gone. Again, it’s fine. It’s good. You won’t have a bad time. But as an addition to Phase 5, it isn’t at all. As the end to a trilogy, it’s a shadow of its predecessors. And as the savior the MCU needs right now … maybe The Marvels, I guess?