Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter

We watched this as a double feature with The VelociPastor. I was worried that the surprise bounty of joy that was The VelociPastor would have me burned out for this, that it would be too much of the same flavor. I needn't have worried, because Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter fails on its own merits. Or lack thereof. I won't say that the movie doesn't have funny moments and absurdist ideas. I mean, come on, look at that title. Jesus befriends famed Mexican wrestler and movie star El Santo. There's fun stuff to be had here. The problem is, unlike VelociPastor, this doesn't feel like a targeted satire. This feels like a genuinely bonkers idea done on a shoestring budget by someone attempting to make a full-fledged film. There's satirical moments here and there (the Jeep Wrangler that holds approximately 30 people), and some stupid humor. But the movie is far, far too long, and the spans between jokes are boring as hell. There are sequences that drag on too long, with people mugging and acting up for no one in particular other than to be OTT. And some jokes just get run into the ground. The aforementioned Jeep joke is fine once or twice, but five times is too much, and that's just one example. There are scenes that just don't need to happen, jokes that wear out their welcome, and sequences that just don't amount to anything. There's more padding in this movie than in a Build-A-Bear store, and it leads to making this movie feel much longer than its already bloated 90 or so minutes. Trim 10-15 minutes out of this movie (the one musical number and the trying-on-clothes montage alone could fill half that) and it would be leaner, meaner, and more focused. Still not great, but better, because as it stands, this is a bit of a chore to get through. Enough laughs to not make you regret it, but not enough laughs to recommend either.