Juno and the Paycock

When I started my quest to watch Hitchcock's filmography, I did so knowing there were a few movies whose reputations preceded them in unenviable ways. Perhaps none, though, cast as looming and dreadful a shadow as Juno and the Paycock, a movie Hitchcock himself considered his worst. I held onto a small shred of hope that I would be the one to find something worthy in it to appreciate. It was a desperate hope, and a foolish one. Juno and the Paycock is boring and miserable. There's no beating around the bush here. Hitchcock was dead-on, this is his worst movie, I'm confident of it, even with three movies to go as I write this, one of them being his very first. Juno suffers from way too many problems for there to be anything salvageable: an unlikable cast of characters, a bland production, a boring script, a total lack of score, and a third act that heaps on misery after misery. That third act is the part that sent this, for me, from a boring 1 1/2 star review to dead last. The story of Juno and the Paycock is that of a lower-class Irish family who comes into an inheritance, but finds out later on that the lawyer who informed them of it screwed up the paperwork ... after they've spent the money they were never getting. Their belongings are repossessed. Their daughter runs off with the lawyer before the mistake is discovered, gets impregnated, the lawyer runs off after the mistake is made, and the man who has always loved her won't take her back because she's now the shame of town. And the son, who acted as an informant in the Irish War of Independence, is arrested and murdered by the IRA. The movie ends with the mom and daughter leaving their empty apartment, the patriarch of the family unaware and drinking away his last dollar in a bar. Thanks, movie, why not throw a puppy down a flight of stairs while you're at it? Slash all my tires and infect me with norovirus. Hitchcock would later find his footing with dark humor, but there is none to be found here; the downfall of the Boyle family is presented as matter-of-factly as one might remind their spouse to get milk while they're at the store. And even before the movie begins its miserable downward spiral, it's already dull as dishwater. It's a half an hour of familial squabbles before the lawyer shows up, a half an hour of watching them try to buy their way out of squalor, and then the descent. There is nothing redeemable about Juno and the Paycock. Nothing. The camera mostly just sits there, and 85% of the movie is in one location, which is as visually splendorous as a tax accountant's office. If it weren't for this being part of Hitchcock's filmography, I'd suggest this movie be buried at sea. If you're endeavoring watch all his movies, get this one out of the way as soon as possible. Otherwise, don't bother.