Scream

I was never bored, I’ll give it that. And the gore was extra. That was nice that they didn’t wimp out on it. But, uh, this movie has problems. Lots of them. Scream’s commentary on horror movies as a franchise has gotten weaker as the franchise has continued. What started as a fun, savvy, intelligent slasher for people who grew up with them and knew the tropes became trope-laden and a bit preachy. The motivations got murkier, the way to pull Sydney and friends into it got more strained, and the commentary on the state of horror became a thing you had to search for. Until here, where Scream 5 spends 2 hours beating you over the head with not one but two sticks: “this is a legacy sequel” (or requel), and “this is elevated horror”. But what made the original Scream so effective, among many things, was that while it pointed out and poked at the cliches of slashers, it still remembers to BE A FUN SLASHER. When Scream 5 isn’t yelling at you about what makes a horror movie “elevated” or igniting the debate between fans of “elevated” horror and more straight-forward fare, it’s making you feel ashamed for enjoying slashers. There’s a constant feeling of judgment throughout the movie that liking slashers is wrong, that requels are “run of the mill cash grabs” (words the movie actually uses in a moment that feels like the weakest self-defense ever). Which is funny since THAT’S WHAT SCREAM IS. It’s shaming you while denying what it is. It comes off as hypocritical and insulting. Own what you are. You’re not making The Witch here. It’s the FIFTH FUCKING MOVIE in a 25 year old slasher franchise. Never mind that commentary on requels was already done with, you know, Scream 4. On top of that delusional self-righteousness, the movie also has the gall to be LAZY. The killers’ motivation is an amalgam of the fame-seeking attention whores of S4, the “sequels are bigger and badder” of S2’s Mickey, and Stu from S1 being a twisted horror movie fan. There is no originality here. It feels very going through the motions. And of course, one killer is super-obvious and the other isn’t but is super-moronic in a way where even when the movie connects the dots, you’ll still go “… huh”. Partially because it’s just so random, and partially for all the plot holes the reveal opens. Now, is it bad? No. Like I said, the gore is good. The intensity is there. It’s a perfectly middling turn off your brain and watch some carnage kind of movie, but with a budget and decent actors (even if the Dewey/Gale argument is over-acted to the point of needing the Wayne’s World “OSCAR CLIP” subtitle). It’s a “flipping through the channels and find it on and okay I guess I’ll stop because it’s this or 11 reruns of Ridiculousness” kind of movie. I don’t feel like I wasted my time seeing it. But I don’t feel like Scream 5 justified going any further.