Spider-Man: No Way Home

I’ve been a pretty vocal critic of the MCU’s Phase 4. Shang-Chi was terrific, Loki was a lot of fun. But Black Widow was whelming, WandaVision was a muddled mess. What If? was an abject failure, and Falcon & Winter Soldier was fine while it happened but feels unessential and disconnected. I went into Spider-Man: No Way Home expecting this huge home run, an epic that would right the course of Phase 4, and be this fantastic third chapter of the webslinger. The previews looked amazing, this brilliant, heady concept of the other Spider-man franchises mixing into this one. And while that is indeed what we got, that is ALL we got. The previews did not tease; they gave it all away. This was a case of getting full on appetizers. There was no deeper exploration of the multiverse concept. In fact, going by the end of the movie, the multiverse apocalypse appears to have been averted. Okay. I mean, it was cool and all, but the ending really makes the movie and its stakes feel self-contained. But even if that isn’t the case, the issue still exists that the previews spoiled all the most important surprises, so the movie feels oddly toothless. And what surprises it does have feel tacked on or inconsequential. Ned knows magic and could be a sorcerer! … until the end. Aunt May dies, because Spider-Man needs a parental figure to die. I guess. Shrug. Meanwhile, there’s a lot of elements that just don’t add up, making this movie feel oddly sloppy and rushed, like they had this fantastic core idea and couldn’t be asked to care about the details. Why does the public sentiment of Spider-Man go from public enemy #1 to some loving him and some not? Why does Flint Marko go from “hey, cool, whatever it takes to see my daughter” to “I DON’T TRUST YOU I KILL YOU NOW” in a heartbeat, twice? Why are the authorities taking orders from J Jonah Jameson? Why is Damage Control suddenly law enforcement? Why did Doc Ock and Norman Osborn stay away from the big final confrontation for so long? Doesn’t curing the villains change their fates, and thereby change the timelines from which they came from, thereby creating even more alternate timelines, and thus invalidating the endings of the movies from which they came? Why did the forgetting spell fix the rift? If Peter is a complete unknown and is no longer enrolled in school or has any public record now, how does he get a job and qualify to rent an apartment? Why did the Venom symbiote not disappear when Eddie Brock did? I know Marvel movies usually have some plot holes, and usually get away with them because of their charm and action. But I don’t care how charming a movie may be, this movie has too many simple structural problems to ignore. They rushed in with a core and just slapped whatever they could around it. The cracks can't be ignored here. They actively eat away at the good will of the multiverse concept. There are things I liked about this movie. Tom Holland is still the best Peter Parker, hands down. Zendaya is still a treasure. The chemistry between Peter, MJ and Ned is wonderful. I love the Peter/Strange relationship as well. And the action sequences were never boring. The movie itself is never boring. It’s not a bad movie. It’s fun. It’s fine. But the trailers advertised something far greater than fine. This was to be epic. This was to be legendary. And … it just wasn’t. It was a cool idea. It was a fun movie. But it’s missing something. A wow factor. Suspense. Tension. Convincing stakes. That thing that gets you sucked in and makes you suspend disbelief.