Unmasked Part 25

Reading the description of this movie and its title, one would assume that this is a straight-up horror-comedy riff on slasher movies. That's what I thought. That's what I expected. What I didn't expect was for more than half the run time to be taken up by long-winded conversations on existential musings about nature versus nurture, love's ability to both see past flaws and miss them entirely, and whether fate is an immutable force or not. I sure didn't expect relationship drama and a man battling sexual inadequacy compared to his partner's broader experience level. And I definitely didn't expect a philosophical exploration of whether one can escape the mistakes of the past and define their own future, or if one is burdened to carry with them and be defined by their past deeds. Unmasked Part 25 is all of this, with some cheap, cartoonish violence in the first and last 15 minutes, so it can claim to be a horror satire. But watching a Jason Voorhees simulacrum wallow in self-doubt while he has a whirlwind romance with a blind woman (oh, hi, Toxic Avenger!) and fights his murderous urges with all the humor of shopping for a new sofa doesn't feel like satire. None of this does. It feels like a confused, jumbled, incoherent mess of partially-formed sketch comedy skits, haphazardly glued together. "What if Jason got a girlfriend?" "What if Jason has daddy issues?" "What if Jason tried to stop killing and integrate into normal society?" "What if Jason had sex?" None of these are individually funny or interesting enough on their own, and daisy-chaining them doesn't make the whole more than the sum of its parts. Worst of all, there is an air of unearned confidence to the movie, as if it thinks it's some grand, intelligent meta-skewering of the source material. This was a slog to get through. The kills are hilariously over-bloody and kind of amusing for it, but they're so laughably amateurish in how they're staged, and the editing so poor, it sucks the fun out of them. Short of being a very riffable movie with friends and some alcohol, I can't think of a single reason to recommend this to anybody.