Fallon's bland, don't-offend-anyone style of comedy no doubt goes over well with Midwestern grandparents, but I find it disingenuous and desperate - he might as well have "Please laugh! Please love me! I'm trying so hard!" tattooed on his forehead. It doesn't help that each show is clearly designed to be chopped up into 3-minute wannabe-viral YouTube clips.

Fallon is not my bag. He's a talented impersonator but his manic cocaine eyes and adoration rub me raw like high school dry humping.