Claire of the Moon

From the first frame I knew this was gonna suck. Early 90s romance, shot on 16mm or perhaps just really shitty 35, bad music, awkward dialogue delivered awkwardly, unattractive characters, both physically and otherwise, there's very little to like about this. It does pick up slightly when the characters stop talking, but even then, the inept direction and editing derail the mood, so...yeah. It's basically a 90s TV movie, and nobody likes those. Ebert's review is pretty much spot on.

One gets the impression that this was supposed to be really profound, or something. There's one priceless line -- "Dildos have nothing to do with penises" -- that epitomizes how gloriously silly this thing really is

Nope quit it like 5 minutes in. The movie had nothing to hold me with.