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Celluloid Junkie - 3176 Film Ratings

Member Since: Jun 30, 2007

Location: Los Angeles, California, USA

Bio: After a fairly Lynchian childhood in an American suburb, I moved to Japan at 13, saw foreign film, and it destroyed my fragile little mind. Now forever damaged, I live in LA, have degrees in Cinema and Religion, a Masters in Information Science, and watch too many films in between writing projects. Life goals: direct a film, and see a UFO.
more Featured Reviews
39 14% X-Men: Dark Phoenix (2019) - Jun 24, 2019
"Pained noises. “I know it’s hard, son. The franchise, it’s suffering. It’s been hurting for a while now. It’s old, worn out, done tired - it feels like Jennifer Lawrence looks. You know what must be done.” I stop the film executive, tear in my eye. “I know. But... it grew up with me. Ever since I was a kid. We grew old together. I need... I need to be the one to do it.” I take the rifle from his hands. In the next room, a pause. Fire, then silence. The whimpering has stopped."
1% Left Behind (2014) - Jan 14, 2015
"Dear World, on behalf of Christians everywhere, I am sorry. I am sorry we proselytize through fear and an anti-social lack of empathy. I am sorry we caricature minorities & faiths in embarrassing ways. I am sorry we throw our biggest budgets behind the iffiest of theologies, like pre-tribulation rapture and an age of accountability, while ignoring our most profound concepts. But above all, I am sorry we can honestly say Nicolas Cage is the classiest thing here and still keep the 9th commandment."
40 15% The Wizard of Gore (1970) - Dec 04, 2020
"The same plot as The Last Temptation of Christ, but way less controversial. "
42 17% Noah (2014) - May 11, 2015
"The entirety of my viewing I kept asking myself Why this was made. It's too off-script for a Christian audience, too religious for the blockbuster audience, too mystical for the Jewish audience, too campy for the adults and too adult for the kids. Luckily time will wash this one away as a mistake. On the plus side, Nick Nolte has finally been typecast as a rock. "
98 98% Videodrome (1983) - Sep 10, 2008
"All of Cronenberg's fascinations/obsessions, predominately his anxiety about society's influence over the body, only become more significant and horrifying in hindsight. My favorite films (of which this is one of them) leave me feeling as if it is a complete entity; nothing should or could be added or excised to make a more compelling feature. You could write books over what happens in this 80-min film."
68 49% 9 (2009) - May 29, 2011
"A movie for 13 year old philosophers, regressed Marxist sociologists, or Taoist paranoid schizophrenics. The story's simplicity of narrative and character was refreshing, as was its brutally frank depiction of death. But it felt like it was far too broad for what was clearly going to be a niche story with a small audience - and ultimately the film pleases no one."
71 56% Ghost in the Shell (2017) - Apr 12, 2017
"A vaguely sinister multinational constructs an idealized female human form from computers and corporate interests, only to encounter backlash when that form starts questioning its identity in a world where individuality is informed by physical attributes. Production history or plot synopsis? This film is unintentionally meta af. "
96 96% Showgirls (1995) - May 20, 2019
"Verhoeven pulled off a fucking coup, here, didn't he? Showgirls combines the myth-making Americana pomp of Busby Berkeley, and the subversive, knowing sex games of Russ Meyer, but then it took all of Bob Fosse's quaaludes and had a seizure going down on a hooker in a Vegas back room. Its Tits-and-Ass-and-Overacting glam is a smokescreen obscuring the truth of the musical mythos: Every kind act is shit on and every little shit gets ahead. It's neither serious nor a satire - it's a statement."
76 64% Lethal Weapon (1987) - Feb 17, 2017
"Perhaps 80's action films were all self-aware? Beginning as a rather reflective police procedural, the action and logic soon jump into ludicrous speed in a manner that seems purposeful and reflexive: a comment on the American Banal, allowing regular joes an outlet to blow shit up. The use of sound - background sounds always commenting on the characters - seems to point this way. It's practically magical realism for working stiffs."
97 97% Twin Peaks (1990) - Jun 05, 2017
"The Death of the American Dream: or, Society in retrograde. The Pilot episode is utterly magnificent - the way death is both like a thunderclap, and an inevitability, is clearly what enraptured America to Lynch and Frost's hallucinogenic Soap from hell (and kept interest when this Soapier side started to foam at the mouth). To me, though, TP is about society regressing back into a primitive - and spiritual - state that was always there, obscured by picket fences, damn fine coffee, and apple pie."