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Celluloid Junkie - 3165 Film Ratings

Member Since: Jun 30, 2007

Location: Los Angeles, California, USA

Bio: After a fairly Lynchian childhood in an American suburb, I moved to Japan at 13, saw foreign film, and it destroyed my fragile little mind. Now forever damaged, I live in LA, have degrees in Cinema and Religion, a Masters in Information Science, and watch too many films in between writing projects. Life goals: direct a film, and see a UFO.
more Featured Reviews
90 89% Kuruizaki sanda rodo (1980) - Jun 02, 2015
"One can easily name off the film's clear progeny: Miike, Otomo, Kitano, Anno, Tsukamoto, Sono, Kurosawa, Yukisada. And it's easy to see why. From its opening moments, its raw, unrestrained, angsty energy is viral, and ultimately, its primary theme. Yet despite the pedigree it inspired and left in its wake, Crazy Thunder Road is its very own stray and rabid dog, and ultimately a sensation, requiring Western rediscovery."
30 8% The Fate of the Furious (2017) - Nov 10, 2018
"Possibly the douchiest movie in the history of douchebaggery. The first F&F was The Favorite Movie of my wife’s boyfriend before we dated, and he was a douchebag. Every plot point - from Charlize as a dreads-wearing crocodile at the world’s wettest watering hole to some contrived second Cuban Missile Crisis - is so desperate to appeal to his divine level of doucheness it can’t even succeed at full douche-attainment. It’s a Catch-22 of douche. I hope he enjoys it."
78 68% Alien: Resurrection (1997) - May 07, 2019
"Slathers on the Freudian grotesque: sees the Mother themes of the previous films and decides to run with ideas of Abortions and Incest. On that note, it might just be a fitting evolution of Giger’s concepts, fueled by perversion and an elevated, lurid, askew sensuality. So the film swings wildly between dirty gore and an otherworldly eroticism, which takes some getting used to. But once you do, it peaks to scenes that are truly and beautifully intense. "
80 72% House (1977) - Mar 16, 2010
"I'm not going to pretend this is a good movie. It's not. It actually has to remind you at the beginning, "A Movie! House!" in case you get confused. But what it is is audiovisual insanity of the highest order: the absolute contempt for genre and script (horror/Toei Pink) creates an onslaught of editing and directorial experimentation not seen since the days Nikkatsu kicked Suzuki out on his ass for doing something new. Not a film; an experience."
100 99% The Shining (1980) - Apr 09, 2018
"A lifetime of rewatching has convinced me that The Shining truly does have an otherworldly, occultic power. The first half of the film is akin to a ritualistic seance: images, music, and faces seep slowly into the unconscious mind, only to be released in the second half of the movie in a bloody orgy of psychological grotesquerie. As a byproduct, The Shining has as many interpretations as there are viewers and their experiences. It conjures the obsessions - and evils - lurking in each of us."
71 55% Ghost in the Shell (2017) - Apr 12, 2017
"A vaguely sinister multinational constructs an idealized female human form from computers and corporate interests, only to encounter backlash when that form starts questioning its identity in a world where individuality is informed by physical attributes. Production history or plot synopsis? This film is unintentionally meta af. "
94 94% Once Upon a Time in Hollywood (2019) - Jul 31, 2019
"Perhaps Tarantino’s most formally, symbolically, and narratively daring work since Pulp Fiction. Yes, it’s often indulgent and overlong, but when your central theme is the retreat into (and conflation of) fantasy and reality, that’s ok. Film rule: if you see it, it happened. So, the ending is Tarantino affirming, through his reality (movies!), that a few whacked-out hippies did not destroy the idyll of filmdom: It lives on. There’s a reason why Cielo translates to Heaven."
1% High School Musical (2006) - Sep 11, 2008
"Music that wants to be a musical. Works surprisingly well as a horror film."
94 94% Samurai Rebellion (1967) - Jan 25, 2009
"I'll have to disagree with most here and say that the social dilemma of the film - beauracratic traditionalism vs. the sanctity of the family unit - is just as heartbreaking and wraught as Kobayashi's other works. This is Sirk with katanas; this heightened family melodrama is underscored by the incredible B&W cinematography, and showcases one of society's most universal follies. The extended-family-encounter scene is as brilliantly staged and handled as the more action-heavy ending."
50 25% The Baby (1973) - Feb 20, 2017
"Possibly one of the more vile, reprehensible, grotesque features I've ever seen - my head was cocked at a slight angle and my eye was twitching, always mildly unsure that what I was watching is actually what they were depicting. In short, I kinda liked it. Or at least the part of me I hate liked it."