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Celluloid Junkie - 3046 Film Ratings

Member Since: Jun 29, 2007

Location: Los Angeles, California, USA

Bio: After a fairly Lynchian childhood in an American suburb, I moved to Japan at 13, saw foreign film, and it destroyed my fragile little mind. Now forever damaged, I live in LA, have degrees in Cinema and Religion, a Masters in Information Science, and watch too many films in between writing projects. Life goals: direct a film, and see a UFO.
more Featured Reviews
100 99% The Shining (1980) - Apr 08, 2018
"A lifetime of rewatching has convinced me that The Shining truly does have an otherworldly, occultic power. The first half of the film is akin to a ritualistic seance: images, music, and faces seep slowly into the unconscious mind, only to be released in the second half of the movie in a bloody orgy of psychological grotesquerie. As a byproduct, The Shining has as many interpretations as there are viewers and their experiences. It conjures the obsessions - and evils - lurking in each of us."
53 27% Alien: Covenant (2017) - May 24, 2017
"It's as if Ridley took the feedback from Prometheus and Fox and said, "Fine, I'll make an Alien movie for those Plebes." The result may just have mild contempt on all of us - like we're being served from the kids menu although we damn well know there's a wine list somewhere. Three or so action set pieces are extraordinary in their execution, and Fassbender is a God among men. But as the credits rolled I could almost hear Scott quoting from another of his own films: "Are you not entertained?!""
99 98% The Magician (1958) - Sep 12, 2010
"A black comedy mocking, of all things, the post-Reformation debate between reason and superstition - but here told through sex, drag, a ghost who won't quite die, a Papageno wannabe and a 220-year-old witch. While the Magician's facades (and the cinematic trappings that help him along) all dissolve by the film's end, does that mean reason wins? Kinda. Not really. Sometimes all you can do is laugh."
83 79% Kingsman: The Secret Service (2015) - Jun 23, 2015
"Like the best satires, it's slyly written, and in absolutely terrible taste. A dizzying pastiche of Bond and modern actioners with a vicious populist message that is as wacky and culturally primed as Cooper's Behold A Pale Horse. As nasty and unrestrained as this film was, I immediately wanted to rewatch it. I think there's more being said here - in script, tone and especially its self-aggrandizing violence - than is immediately let on. Just like the best conspiracy theories."
100 99% A Serious Man (2009) - Feb 20, 2010
"A modern-day Job, but in this variation, despite the same pleading and anger due to surreal happenstance, God has no voice to rebut either the 3 rabbis or poor Larry. What does that mean? I dunno. Jefferson Airplane."
20 4% Godsend (2004) - Sep 10, 2008
"My (now-)wife and I almost stopped dating after seeing this in theatres. It was so dumb and so boring, we didn't make out, we were in so much awe at its badness. Leaving, we barely spoke. I puked up the Joe's Crab Shack later that evening. We've never gone back to Joe's Crab Shack. I've never seen the movie again. We married in spite of this evening."
86 84% eXistenZ (1999) - Sep 10, 2008
"Watching this launches me into an embarrassing eXistenZial rant on philosophical spiritualism: the grotesquerie of material forms upon layers of physical condeCenZion; the fractal, analogous nature of interpretive time; the arcane mystery of our degree of free will, us as the architects or pawns of our condition as our consciousness leaps. A Word for God is the missing "Y" in the world of illusion and tranCendenZ (un)veils an End to things. It's gross and gorgeous, brilliant and psychotic."
71 56% Ghost in the Shell (2017) - Apr 12, 2017
"A vaguely sinister multinational constructs an idealized female human form from computers and corporate interests, only to encounter backlash when that form starts questioning its identity in a world where individuality is informed by physical attributes. Production history or plot synopsis? This film is unintentionally meta af. "
68 49% The Hang Up (1970) - Mar 18, 2019
"A rare roughie with a message. Perhaps, only a XXX feature is capable of the necessary deep, dark, dive into the consequences of incessant depravity on the love life of a vice cop. Moments reminded of Seconds and The Game, which is a glowing compliment. An attempted rape is so deeply disturbing it gave me pause - superseding genre and expectation."
61 37% The Children (1980) - Jan 24, 2019
"The actual concept is stupid (nuclear waste turns children into zombies whose hugs burn people alive!) but th--- no actually that's a great idea. Toys with the familial anxiety that the adults may have to murder their own brood to survive, eventually taking it to its furthest extreme with some onscreen gun- and swordplay. Clearly there's some angst and small-town Americana social chicanery at work, hidden inside a film that is triumphantly perverse and tasteless. "