Celluloid Junkie - 2922 Film Ratings
Member Since: Jun 29, 2007
Location: Los Angeles, California, USA
Bio: After a fairly Lynchian childhood in an American suburb, I moved to Japan at 13, saw foreign film, and it destroyed my fragile little mind. Now forever damaged, I live in LA, have degrees in Cinema and Religion, a Masters in Information Science, and watch too many films in between writing projects. Life goals: direct a film, and see a UFO.
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|33 9%||The Nun (2018) - Sep 27, 2018
"Let’s talk Ghost Logic for a moment. I know it’s kind of a touchy subject, because it involves God’s sovereignty and Natural Law and a bunch of other theological concepts not very popular nowadays. But you picked a demon movie in a convent, so you brought it on yourselves. Ghosts can bend the laws of nature, but can’t break them. They can lead human minds to madness, but can’t just take them over willy-nilly. The moment these concepts are broken, the scare isn’t scary. It’s stupid."
|30 8%||The Fate of the Furious (2017) - Nov 10, 2018
"Possibly the douchiest movie in the history of douchebaggery. The first F&F was The Favorite Movie of my wife’s boyfriend before we dated, and he was a douchebag. Every plot point - from Charlize as a dreads-wearing crocodile at the world’s wettest watering hole to some contrived second Cuban Missile Crisis - is so desperate to appeal to his divine level of doucheness it can’t even succeed at full douche-attainment. It’s a Catch-22 of douche. I hope he enjoys it."
|80 72%||House (1977) - Mar 16, 2010
"I'm not going to pretend this is a good movie. It's not. It actually has to remind you at the beginning, "A Movie! House!" in case you get confused. But what it is is audiovisual insanity of the highest order: the absolute contempt for genre and script (horror/Toei Pink) creates an onslaught of editing and directorial experimentation not seen since the days Nikkatsu kicked Suzuki out on his ass for doing something new. Not a film; an experience."
|80 72%||Retribution (2006) - May 24, 2010
"Fascinating as it completely summarizes Kurosawa's previous work, going so far as to copy, shot-for-shot, a glorious scene from Pulse. But it's not so much a retread as a potent embodiment of the director's obsessions. The murders are merely a parenthesis in a story of urban decay, moral morass (pun intended) and a worldview - closer here than ever before - about to teeter off the edge towards a personal and grand apocalypse. Very recommended."
|86 83%||eXistenZ (1999) - Sep 10, 2008
"Watching this launches me into an embarrassing eXistenZial rant on philosophical spiritualism: the grotesquerie of material forms upon layers of physical condeCenZion; the fractal, analogous nature of interpretive time; the arcane mystery of our degree of free will, us as the architects or pawns of our condition as our consciousness leaps. A Word for God is the missing "Y" in the world of illusion and tranCendenZ (un)veils an End to things. It's gross and gorgeous, brilliant and psychotic."
|98 98%||Simon of the Desert (1965) - Dec 07, 2008
"SOTD is truncated, incomplete, and barely known - but it is the one Bunuel film I continually return to. This has something genuine to say about the falseness of altruism, the relationship between Man and God, and the death of the Enchanted Age. Or I'm reading too much into it. God bless Bunuel."
|85 82%||Star Wars: Episode VIII - The Last Jedi (2017) - Dec 15, 2017
"Last Jedi manages to intercut a dozen characters of consequence between and through scenes, across the universe and within internal states, and somehow keep its core logic unscathed. And that logic is founded on a sly disregard for fan service. You want proclamations of heredity and lore? Go watch the Prequels. When Luke tosses his lightsaber, he dismisses an entire cottage industry built on safety and expectation. It's a blockbuster looking forward and not back. The sacred texts are burning."
|42 16%||Noah (2014) - May 11, 2015
"The entirety of my viewing I kept asking myself Why this was made. It's too off-script for a Christian audience, too religious for the blockbuster audience, too mystical for the Jewish audience, too campy for the adults and too adult for the kids. Luckily time will wash this one away as a mistake. On the plus side, Nick Nolte has finally been typecast as a rock. "
|82 77%||Nazarín (1959) - Aug 19, 2011
"I can see it now: When I die and go to heaven, after I pass over the threshold and catch up with all the souls from life - who will I see but Bunuel, sipping a dry martini and arguing passionately with Michael over some arbitrary theological definition of the Eucharist. I'll introduce myself, we'll talk about his art. Then he'll take me aside, out of earshot of the saints, and whisper earnestly, "How the fucking hell did I get here?""
|98 98%||Videodrome (1983) - Sep 09, 2008
"All of Cronenberg's fascinations/obsessions, predominately his anxiety about society's influence over the body, only become more significant and horrifying in hindsight. My favorite films (of which this is one of them) leave me feeling as if it is a complete entity; nothing should or could be added or excised to make a more compelling feature. You could write books over what happens in this 80-min film."