Celluloid Junkie - 2625 Film Rankings
Member Since: Jul 30, 2013
Location: New Zealand
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|15 T3||Hanna (2011) - Jan 25, 2018
"goddamn, another film ruined by having a supposedly unfeeling being learning what it "means" to be human. robots, aliens, and now assassins. although for someone raised from near-birth to be a merciless killer, this hanna person is remarkable well-adjusted. any themes of biotechnology and fantasy are buried underneath layers of meaningless hogwash."
|5 T1||National Treasure (2004) - Jan 02, 2018
"personally, i wish some conspiracy theories were true. still, sometimes i just forget how fucking dumb movies can be. also, nicolas cage is an unbelievably terrible actor, what the hell?"
|5 T1||The Rumble in the Air-Conditioned Auditorium: O'Reilly vs. Stewart 2012 (2012) - Nov 14, 2017
"bill and jon, the powerpuffed scones, ne'er was be'er this frenemy bond."
|5 T1||Storage Wars (2010) - Nov 07, 2017
"remember antiques roadshow? ah, the days when shows about your great grandmother's old heirlooms were respectably mediocre, rather than punishingly repulsive."
|15 T3||History of the Entire World, I Guess (2017) - Oct 09, 2017
"it started off well, but quickly devolved into "and then china did this. and then china did this! and then china did this??? blinkity bloop!" and i got bored soon thereafter."
|20 T5||The Heartbreak Kid (1972) - Sep 26, 2017
"midway, i was pacing the room and averting my gaze to allay the embarrassment the miami dinner conversations generated. that's the good part: conversely, the entire sequence of events leading to the ending necessarily relied on the unmitigated stupidity of every important female character in the film, with only the overprotective banking father able to see through the protagonist's bullshit. ultimately this rendered the whole malarkey preposterous and uninteresting. all discomfort, no insight."
|15 T3||Come Together (2016) - Sep 25, 2017
"advertising for christmas and fashion? no thanks."
|35 T7||Only Lovers Left Alive (2014) - Sep 22, 2017
"interesting concept that draws from the vampire craze of a few years ago to construct a critique of contemporary culture, reminiscing over the detritus of decades and centuries past as the artless void creeps ever further. pretty fun, but the film is all writing, and the writing is patchy, with the middle section being the low point, where jarmusch's self-conscious disdain for the "zombies" becomes all too transparent. phenomenal perfomances though. needed more antique, high-quality blood."
|40 T8||Monty Python and the Holy Grail (1975) - Sep 20, 2017
|10 T2||Wonder Woman (2017) - Sep 20, 2017
"good british vs bad germans. was i watching a ww2 film the whole time? the only thing i knew about this going into it was that the lead actress is a supporter and former member of the IDF. one wonders if the great god zeus and his divine, ah, "peace"-promoting amazonians might be based upon a real-world example. although the lead amazonian sure spends a lot of time second to her entirely male groupies. neither the cake of feminism nor the mastication of anti-imperialism can we have."