Bio: I rank films and I'm vulgar.
|47 14%||Straight Outta Compton (2015) - May 03, 2021
"I fucking hate rap. Nothing about this movie changed my mind. Nothing about this film made NWA more approachable to me. Nothing about this film redeemed these guys in my eyes, or made me understand where they were coming from. In fact, I had trouble following the general narrative of this movie. I don't know, maybe I'll never get it because I'm a white guy raised in small town America."
|89 92%||Dunkirk (2017) - May 03, 2021
"Another solid Christopher Nolan film. I enjoyed the various plot lines that played out in the film. I'm not sure it will ever be a "classic" war movie as it lacks that extra little personal touch that I think audiences identify with, but you can't find much fault in the film as a whole. This movie will not change your mind about Christopher Nolan. "
|72 58%||Shrek Forever After (2010) - May 01, 2021
"There are some solid elements to this film, but anything past the first Shrek movie was just unnecessary. What is this? The fourth iteration? Movie is kinda self-referential as it wants to get back to the glory of the first ogre-y goodness we had in Shrek. "
|65 40%||Aladdin (2019) - May 01, 2021
"There was some charm in this film. It did not come from the musical numbers or Will Smith as the genie. Or any of the romance plot lines. In fact, most of the charm comes from the charismatic lead, Mena Massoud. To be honest, it's kinda just a crap live action version of a movie that is far better animated. Disney has sucked at all live action remakes post-Jungle Book."
|88 91%||Once Upon a Time in Hollywood (2019) - May 01, 2021
"I could care less that the scenes were largely just interspersed random tidbits here and there leading up to a final setpiece confrontation we all knew was coming. Every individual scene is great, and you can largely watch them out of order. And the last 15 minutes was just hilariously intense. Tarantino still has it."
|89 92%||The Raid 2 (2014) - May 01, 2021
"An almost perfect action martial arts film. I have no idea how this ties into the original Raid, but the fight scenes alone are enough for me. Saw it in theaters with friends and on the way back we just kept repeating, "He left the bat in the wall." "
|69 49%||Split (2017) - May 01, 2021
"It's hard to rate this film. I've soured so much on Shyamalan that I can no longer tell if this is decent, or pretentious. I'm going to err with decent. The ending 30 minutes or so is so full of a mixture of predictable and surprising that I kinda have to give it some credit. And, of course, McAvoy does a fantastic job portraying one man with multiple personalities, you'd almost wish the film was just him isolated in a cabin in the woods having conversations with himself. "
|92 95%||The Social Network (2010) - Apr 05, 2021
"A real fascinating look at the rise of Mark Zuckerberg and Facebook, and watching the film now certainly carries a different tone as the decade or more since the film's release, Facebook and social media have become an entirely different form of monster. This is David Fincher directing Jesse Eisenberg in Eisenberg's best role, with a script by Aaron Sorkin, so all the fucking pieces are in place, and it shows."
|53 20%||Star Wars: Episode IX - The Rise of Skywalker (2019) - Apr 05, 2021
"JJ Abrams is guilty for crimes against humanity for taking Star Wars and turning it into this. Some characters are just pushed aside and forgotten, some characters are regulated to the background, the plot just jumps from one locale that might look cool to the next, without any regard to consistency or believability. I loved Star Wars growing up, and Empire remains my favorite movie of all time. This ruins everything about the Skywalker legacy. These films don't exist. "
|46 12%||Transformers: Dark of the Moon (2011) - Apr 05, 2021
"The best thing about this movie is the trailer. The worst thing about this movie is when you realize that this cool looking trailer is for a Transformers movie. "