Celluloid Junkie - 3766 Film Ratings
Member Since: Jun 26, 2006
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|3 28%||Tremors 3: Back to Perfection (2001) - Jun 04, 2023
"Tremors 2 I found to be surprisingly solid for a straight-to-VHS. This one however was a bit more of the stale retread of the original I expected. The basic mythology is still fun enough but it doesn’t offer much new."
|6 70%||Shazam! Fury of the Gods (2023) - Jun 02, 2023
"Reasonably fun and diverting bit of superhero fluff. Won't remotely win over anyone with major superhero fatigue - the action sequences are almost all watered down Dragon Ball Z cartoon fights with flying and mega punches and power beams - but it has just enough personality and humor around the edges to be worthwhile. Also credit where it's due for most of the lady superheroes and supervillains wearing sexy skirts that show off their legs; didn't know the year 2023 had that heat left in it."
|3 28%||My Big Fat Greek Wedding 2 (2016) - Jun 01, 2023
"Very much a “reunion movie” for fans of the original, with even less plot as it lacks the same courtship and non-Greek entering a Greek family angles. Just ninety minutes of simple, occasional light sitcom-y chuckles. But I will give it legit credit for bringing back goddamn EVERYONE from the original, like 15+ returning cast members I think, a seemingly simple thing many “reunion” movies and TV shows can’t seem to get right."
|3 28%||Scream 6 (2023) - May 29, 2023
"Normie-ass slasher movie for normies. Oh, gotcha someone explaining the “rules,” do ya? Cute! Sex depicted as sitcom bumping and moans from a closed door lol. References to Halloween, Friday the 13th AND Nightmare on Elm Street? Congrats on digging into the depths of the genre for those lost nuggets. Ok, ok - the change of setting does add a bit of novelty flavor, and there’s nice references to lesser remembered aspects of the series (even Roman Bridger is name checked). But overall, ehhhh."
|5 57%||My Big Fat Greek Wedding (2002) - May 27, 2023
"This movie is utterly benign. The dramatic intensity level never rises above about a 1.5 out of 10, conflict and stakes are minimal as can be, everything works out for everyone. Mostly functions as a fluffy cute sort of travelogue into the world of Greek American culture. Can’t say it’s one I’d watch again and again but lord almighty if this didn’t make Star Wars/Harry Potter/LotR money at the box office back in the day!"
|6 70%||Tremors II: Aftershocks (1996) - May 26, 2023
"Not bad for a straight to VHS. The mini “shrieker” graboids are pretty cute."
|3 28%||Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania (2023) - May 22, 2023
"Adventures of Sharkboy and Lavagirl in 3D-ass movie lol. Some of the creatures they meet in the quantum realm are amusing but others look below the par of creatures in the Star Wars prequels twenty years ago. Mostly just vaguely confused looking actors wandering around in front of green screens or in the Volume. Credit where it’s due whatever work Michelle Pfeiffer has had done is roughly one billion times better than whatever Madonna has done to herself."
|4 43%||Citadel (2023) - May 08, 2023
"Some James Bond-y type spy shenanigans that basically doubles as Richard Madden’s audition for the big screen tux & PPK (that is if they ever get off their fuckin asses and start making more than two Bond movies a decade). It’s ok dumb fun I guess but ultimately I’ll be honest no other spy/action show in the last twenty years has ever nailed it for me the way that 24 did."
|6 70%||Cocaine Bear (2023) - May 06, 2023
"Gradually won me over via commitment to goofy premise."
|2 14%||Happily Ever After (1993) - May 05, 2023
"My wife has some weird-ass nostalgic childhood movies where I have no idea how anyone ever came across them in the VHS, pre-internet, way pre-streaming era, and then 30 years later she shows them to me. This is one of those movies, the end."