login | register
0 film ratings



Celluloid Junkie - 3856 Film Ratings

Member Since: 26 Jun 2006

more Recent Ratings

T2 Family Switch (2023) - 06 Dec 2023
"This is objectively pretty bad. It's so Disney Channel and candy coated and for-the-kids that I was actually shocked when they played Bust a Move and included the line about chicks scantily clad and showing body."
T9 Obliterated (2023) - 06 Dec 2023
"The elevator pitch for this show was clearly "24 meets The Hangover," and while I'm mixed on The Hangover, 24 is a top ten all time show for me, so I enjoyed it. More or less real time "find the nuke" dumb thriller action, mixed with jokes about drunkenness and substance abuse. Macho bullshit, tits and ass, 80s references. Plotting not always great, and drug-trip-hallucination comedy is never that funny for me, and there's a lot of it here. But I still watched the whole season in three sittings."
T3 Beneath the Planet of the Apes (1970) - 04 Dec 2023
"I was today years old when I learned that Charlton Heston was in a second Planet of the Apes movie; you could have knocked me over with a feather when I found out, I had no idea. The first half of the movie is more or less a soft remake of the original. Then it goes HOG WILD with weird religious cult psychic human mutants living underground worshipping a nuclear bomb, and I normally support a movie going wild just for the novelty but in this case I’m not sure it was a good thing lol."
T10 Planet of the Apes (1968) - 03 Dec 2023
"I bought the Planet of the Apes five-movie Blu-ray set years ago and am now finally getting around to it. This was a good start! I was impressed by the makeup, concepts, worldbuilding, characters etc for a sci-fi movie from 55 years ago."
T3 The Exorcist: Believer (2023) - 02 Dec 2023
"People increasingly denounce them but my quasi-hot take is that I do overall like the idea of these decades-later legacy sequels, so long as they bring back a few of the original actors. That said the hit to miss ratio is poor, this mostly being among the latter. I wasn’t bored per se but man is it unoriginal, just another structural remake of the original Exorcist, same as a billion other exorcism movies over the last half century. Fails to do anything interesting with Chris MacNeil."
T6 Last Christmas (2019) - 24 Nov 2023
"Reasonably normal and pleasant Christmas / British-themed romantic dramedy goes WILDIN’ in the final ten minutes with a wtf twist for the ages lol. Emilia Clarke gives a very winning and pleasant performance though."
T8 Mission: Impossible - Dead Reckoning Part One (2023) - 23 Nov 2023
"I'm surprisingly torn after Fallout being literally my #1 favorite movie of 2018. It's ultimately entertaining and I've certainly watched near 3 hour movies that felt longer - but man is this thing CLOGGED with exposition, talk talk talk pretty much all about the overly convoluted plot which is about a fucking Skynet of all things lmao. Also annoyed at how this random thief girl shows up and is suddenly the co-lead?? But yeah the stunts and action etc still kick ass, no shocker there."
T5 The Phantom of the Opera (2004) - 22 Nov 2023
"Emmy Rossum's performance & presence are very impressive for a 17 year old; most Hollywood actors keep playing high school kids until age 24. Beyond that this kind of thing just isn't for me, what with the endless operatic melodramatic singing, singing, singing, singing. I don't go see stage musicals for a reason: I don't give a shit about them. Lol when Gerard Butler's HIDEOUS DEFORMITY is revealed and THE WHOLE THEATRE SCREAMS IN HORROR, and it's like some red discoloration on one cheek."
T9 Bottoms (2023) - 20 Nov 2023
"Coulda used a bit more lesbian action & fight scenes in a lesbian fight club movie, but it has enough, and is primarily dedicated to being a borderline Not Another Teen Movie-level unhinged high school comedy that unravels more and more into surrealism as it goes on. I was concerned it was gonna be preachy about feminism or whatever but it's not like that; it just seems interested in being funny. I've only seen Ayo Edibiri in this & The Bear but she's 2 for 2 and seems like a future star to me."
T3 Blue Beetle (2023) - 19 Nov 2023
"Not too good I’m afraid. I absolutely hate when the superhero suit itself won’t shut up in anything except Iron Man (this, MCU Spider-Man etc). “TARGET ACQUIRED!” shut the FUCK up suit, I don’t care!!! Plot structure is somewhat similar to Raimi Spider-Man 1 except far too time compressed, mostly taking place over like 36 hours. Way too much of Blue Beetle being a bystander in his own story and wayyy too much George Lopez."