The Mummy
If you watched the trailer, you have already seen this "movie". If you did, at least watching something only 2 minutes long won't make you suffer... too much. This 133 minute "movie" made me feel like the desiccated corpses it portrays... I say corpses because none of the actors in this are even good and it's sad because I liked Jack Reynor in Midsommar, but he has basically no range in this. It's either wide eyes or a panicked look on his face. Maybe he really needs to run to the bathroom?
The horror in this is by the books, cringe and non-existent. There's an over-reliance of gross out gore and cheap scares. At no point of this movie was I afraid except for my sanity. I was so bored that I looked longingly at my second monitor as halfway through, I started drafting this review. I was expecting something better from Lee Cronin, as I actually enjoyed Evil Dead Rise a bit. Where did his talent go?!?!
The most enjoyment I had in this movie is when the little girl swore and there was a pack of wolves outside a driveway... Absurdly funny! Wait, a second, the wolves came back in another funny scene later! Those wolves are the best, I like wolves, they are great in everything they do and they deserved to be in a better movie! Like seriously, what the fuck am I watching?! Every element of this movie is being a try hard movie but is complete and utter schlock. Everyone involved in this film has been in better projects and will be in better projects. It can only go up from here.
If you tore off my skin and pulled my teeth and made me eat it. What would eventually come out of me would be better than this "movie". This is diarrhea with teeth and corn chunks in it! How this was made for $22 million dollars is beyond me. I made a better short film and all we had was $20 and a can of soda. Where's my money, let me in Hollywood!!! I can do way better then this!!!
I was going to joke that this still manages to be better than Shelby Oaks but the ending in this "movie" takes the cake of bad endings. Am I supposed to beleive any of these people are going to live normal lives after watch happened?!?! Both of these "movies" get a half star for being messy nonsensical movies, and make me question if just any one can actually make a film. I give this a 2/100. (Yes, out of a hundred, it can't get much worse then this! The wolves saved this movie!)
The horror in this is by the books, cringe and non-existent. There's an over-reliance of gross out gore and cheap scares. At no point of this movie was I afraid except for my sanity. I was so bored that I looked longingly at my second monitor as halfway through, I started drafting this review. I was expecting something better from Lee Cronin, as I actually enjoyed Evil Dead Rise a bit. Where did his talent go?!?!
The most enjoyment I had in this movie is when the little girl swore and there was a pack of wolves outside a driveway... Absurdly funny! Wait, a second, the wolves came back in another funny scene later! Those wolves are the best, I like wolves, they are great in everything they do and they deserved to be in a better movie! Like seriously, what the fuck am I watching?! Every element of this movie is being a try hard movie but is complete and utter schlock. Everyone involved in this film has been in better projects and will be in better projects. It can only go up from here.
If you tore off my skin and pulled my teeth and made me eat it. What would eventually come out of me would be better than this "movie". This is diarrhea with teeth and corn chunks in it! How this was made for $22 million dollars is beyond me. I made a better short film and all we had was $20 and a can of soda. Where's my money, let me in Hollywood!!! I can do way better then this!!!
I was going to joke that this still manages to be better than Shelby Oaks but the ending in this "movie" takes the cake of bad endings. Am I supposed to beleive any of these people are going to live normal lives after watch happened?!?! Both of these "movies" get a half star for being messy nonsensical movies, and make me question if just any one can actually make a film. I give this a 2/100. (Yes, out of a hundred, it can't get much worse then this! The wolves saved this movie!)
Mini Review: This “movie” is 133 minutes of nothing! It has boring scares, gross‑out gore, and actors who look half‑awake. Jack Reynor has two modes: wide‑eyed or panicked bathroom face. I wasn’t scared, just bored enough to start drafting this mid‑watch. The only joy came from the wolves, who deserved a better film. Everything else is try‑hard schlock. Even my worst ideas would be better. I give it a 2/100; the wolves saved it.
More Reviews of The Mummy
Darren
A very gnarly and gross interpretation of the mummy. Like many have said it barely feels like a mummy movie but I guess why does that really matter in the long run. Some real in...
moraesfelipe
So refreshing to watch a horror film slowly unfolding on the big screen as 'just' a horror film in this era when every scary flick seems to be about something deep and poignant ...
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