Beetlejuice Beetlejuice

I came into this with very measured expectations. I'd seen enough reviews to know, not that I needed them. I knew this could never be what the original was, so I came into this knowing it wouldn't be. I just hoped to be entertained. And yes, off the top, let's address the flaws: the movie is over-stuffed with subplots. Yes, the CGI looks like it was done by your cousin in 8th grade for a beginner's animation class. Yes, Jenna Ortega is playing the same snarky, sullen character she's done in every movie since leaving Nickelodeon. Yes, the claymation sequence explaining Charles' absence was TERRIBLE. Yes, the way they write off the Maitlands is insulting. And the musical number in the last act stretched out way too long. There was also good to be found here. Not great, not by a long shot, but there was good. Winona Ryder slips into Lydia like an old glove and gives this movie an emotional core that even the first movie didn't have. Catherine O'Hara is doing everything she can to tap into the manic comedic energy she had 30 years ago, and it's a delight. Michael Keaton isn't as electric as he was in the original, but he's still giving 100%, and I loved it. Willem Dafoe leaves no scenery unchewed, and I mean that as a compliment. The practical effects -- the make-up and the set design -- were a buffet of visual delights. There was plenty of genuine laughs to be had. Not belly laughs, but laughs all the same. But what makes the original so damned memorable, and what this movie lacks, is something I haven't seen mentioned in other reviews, and it's the biggest reason why my score is where it is. The original movie was only Tim Burton's second directorial, and it shows in the best possible way. There is a scrappy, anarchic spirit to the original. There's barely a semblance of a plot. There's tons of unexplored and unexplained things that are only teased (for instance, why ghosts are sent to one of Saturn's moons if they leave the borders of their house). There's a constant sense of "where is this gonna go" and what new monstrosity or ghoul is around the corner. Beetlejuice is a never-ending fire hose barrage of ideas, some whimsical, some malevolent, some insane, but all intriguing and hilarious and provoking. I mean, is there any reason, ANY REASON WHATSOEVER, for the dinner scene to be as long as it is? And that it WORKS? No. Burton had the balls to commit to every idea he had, no matter what. It imbues the original with a sense of barely contained chaos. The movie feels as anarchic as the events happening within it. Beetlejuice Beetlejuice does not. It doesn't even come close. Yes, there is creativity out the wazoo. Yes, there are tons of new ideas and new corners of the afterlife to visit. But every moment of this movie feels calculated in a way the original never did. B1 feels like every moment came about because Tim Burton had a sudden light-bulb moment, an "oh, what if I did this?" flash of inspiration. I'm sure it wasn't, but it FEELS like it. B2 feels like there was a checklist and story-board meetings for weeks and a folder of notes from corporate thicker than a Russian tragedy novel. The original felt like an artist's unfiltered vision brought to life. Beetlejuice Beetlejuice feels like a carefully planned attempt to repeat the process. And by trying to hard to replicate the original's formula, it fails to be its own thing. Say what you will about Ghostbusters: Afterlife (I will defend it to my dying day), but it at least had the balls to not just be Ghostbusters all over again in form and formula. Beetlejuice Beetlejuice can't say that. Hell, it's afraid to say that. Any kind of deviation from the meticulously mapped, focus group-approved, market research-driven course would be heretical. I did enjoy B2. But I came in knowing I had no chance of loving it, and I was right. I'm not mad it isn't as good as the original, because that would be damned near impossible to accomplish. I was entertained for an hour and forty-five minutes, and I don't regret seeing it. But I revisit Beetlejuice once a year or so, because it's so much fun. This does not inspire that feeling. This felt like exactly what it is: a cash-grab legacy sequel to a beloved but dormant IP. Competently made, harmless and amusing, but lacking -- not even understanding -- the spirit that made the original so great that a legacy sequel was possible to begin with.