Dune

I want to start this review with two factoids about myself. The first is that I've long been a fan of Dune, having read it for the first time almost 30 years ago, and having read through the entire series on multiple occasions. The other tidbit is that, unlike some people who read books, I do not expect a movie to be 1:1. Sometimes, there are logistical hurdles, or time constraints, or unnecessarily that doesn't translate well, and that's okay. I think of Pet Sematary (the original) that removed Jud Crandall's wife because it didn't need her, or John Dies At The End, which had to remove an entire act out of the book, because the movie was on a shoestring indie budget and couldn't afford the frankly bonkers scene in Las Vegas. So, I did not go into Dune 2021 expecting 1:1. I mean, who would? Have you read the book? It's insane. It's wordy, and a lot of the wordiness is dialogue. It would've been preposterous to expect a smooth conversion to the screen. Besides, nobody else has accomplished it. David Lynch's Dune nails the bombastic weirdness, but perhaps goes too over the top, and sacrifices the grandeur and spectacle. The Sci Fi miniseries has the deepest characters and gets the spectacle, but the atmosphere and weirdness that is essential in Dune is missing. So, I was happy to see that this Dune captured the spectacle and the weirdness. Denis Villeneuve did a fantastic job measuring the scope of the story with the aspects that make it so alien and yet so familiar. The Bene Gesserit and their bizarre rituals, the architecture, the ships, the unbelievable size of Arrakis, the stillsuits, all of it. Visually, this movie is enchanting. No one has done a finer job capturing the grandeur of this epic tale, and all the minutiae of it that make it foreign and unfamiliar (except the sand walk ... WHY DO THEY NOT DO THAT CONSISTENTLY?!?). Seeing the spice harvester get swallowed up by the maw of the sandworm, and the teases of the worm itself, are majestic. Little things like the way The Voice is portrayed, or how the shields work, all are done so magnificently. I cannot convey in words how amazing this movie looks. I can, however, convey in words where Denis Villeneuve dropped the ball, and that is with the characters, because holy hell, I did not think it would be possible to be bored by Dune, but by God, he managed it. It is astounding, utterly astounding, how dull and lifeless almost every character comes off. Baron Harkonnen lacks any of the charismatic slime he is known for. Duke Leto does not come across as proud and noble, but stoic and quiet. I have no idea who Rebecca Ferguson is portraying, because that bland saltine of a human being isn't Lady Jessica. Jason Momoa and Josh Brolin are themselves. And it's not like these are bad actors. Oscar Issac is good. Stellan Skarsgård is an excellent actor. Josh Brolin is great. I love Rebecca Ferguson. I'm lukewarm on Jason Momoa, but he's not being asked to do anything outside of "be a tough guy", so, fine. But none of them are given bones with anything on them. Everybody, EV-ERY-BO-DY is tuned into the same distant, icy, aloof channel of acting, giving the whole movie an emotional monotone hue. There were moments where someone talked loudly, sure, but that's not emotion, that's volume. I kept being told of the great stakes at play here, how Arrakis was the jewel of the Imperium because of what the spice means to space travel, but that's just it: I was TOLD this. Nobody conveyed it through emotion. Nobody seemed to care. And nobody seemed to care less than Timothée Chalamet. Sorry not sorry, I don't see what people see in him. I think he's a drag. I think he is, hands down, the worst actor in this movie. I think he's a thirsty theater kid who's trying to show he's A Serious Actor, but it's his first play and he's trying to deliver the "To be or not to be" speech. I can't say he brings nothing to the table here; he brings something alright, and it is the opposite of what Paul Atreides needs. He does not bring the qualities of the character. I do not see a young boy being haunted by a prophecy of messiah-hood yet to be fulfilled. I do not see starry-eyed wonder when they get to Arrakis, nor do I see vengeful anger when his family is violently deposed. I see a kid who wonders if he left his PS5 on when they went on vacation. Even when he tries to be serious, all I see is a kid trying to be serious. In the big knife fight at the end, when he's literally fighting for the lives of himself and his mom and his unborn sister, he approaches it not with grave solemnity or fierce determination, but with the weary resignation of a kid who has been told three times to take out the garbage and is now in danger of getting their phone taken away if they don't. Nothing about Chalamet compelled me at all. I just wanted to shake him by the shoulders in the hopes of getting some reaction, any reaction whatsoever besides dewy-eyed staring in the middle distance while he thinks about Zendaya. I admit I did not go into this with high hopes, largely because of Chalamet. I've never found him to be anything special, and I thought the casting was wrong. I'm not happy to be vindicated in that regard, but I did not expect every other actor to be done so dirty. I was confident Villeneuve would be able to convey the scope of this story and make the world come alive as never before, not as a campy music video like Lynch, and not have to scale back ambitions like the miniseries did. I give him all the credit in the world for making this the most visually stunning version of Dune possible. But at his feet also rests the accomplishment of sucking anything interesting out of this story by making the characters dull as dishwaster. I'm told the second half is more exciting and action packed, and hey, cool, I like 'splosions. But you know what I like more? CHARACTERS AND STORY ARCS. I don't have high hopes for Part Two to deliver what this story needs.