Future Hunters

If by "future" you mean "present" and by "hunters" you mean "a couple of all-American sweethearts learn kung fu in Hong Kong before teaming up with Mongolian pygmies in a Southeast Asian jungle to locate a lost tribe of Amazones guarding the haft of the legendary spear which nipple pierced Christ," then Future Hunters's title tells you all you need to know.

In what is surely his most embarrassing role, Robert Patrick leads the international cast in this cheesy 80's action flick from the Philippines. The plot is absolutely preposterous and involves Nazis, a jungle tribe of buxom Asian women, a Bruce Lee lookalike, and a cave full of Mongolian midgets (yes, it specifies that they are all Mongolian). It's crap, but it's nonstop wacky entertainment....show me another movie where you can see Hwang Jang Lee beating the shit out of the T-1000.

Santiago cramming 5 derivative knock-offs into one movie, another one of those cases where on paper there's no way this could be boring. Mad Max turns into Indiana Jones, then after a brief scene featuring a Bruce Lee clone and a kung-fu master, we are taken deep into the jungle, home to horse-mounted Mongolians. Direction and just about everything else seem lazy and uninspired, including a particularly dull car chase.

Bonkers stuff here, I'm gonna have to rewatch it.