TheDenizen
Bio: I watch Kung Fu, Samurai, Exploitation, Action, Western, and Horror flicks. I can enjoy the classics, but I especially love low budget garbage.
Featured Reviews
Check out TheDenizen's...
| 65 T6 |  |
The Dark Knight (2008) - 01 Jan 2010
"Meh. A good Batman movie needs three things: a cool Batman, an imposing Gotham, and an awesome villain. This flick has a great villain, but Christian Bale is a lame Batman and Chris Nolan's Gotham is way too normal looking. Ledger's Joker raises this above the level of Batman Begins, but not by much. The writing is laughably one dimensional and the fighting is visually incomprehensible."
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| 80 T9 |  |
Hobo with a Shotgun (2011) - 31 Mar 2011
"Awesomely hilarious gory action flick starring Rutger Hauer as the nameless titular hobo. While Machete was a decent homage to exploitation flicks, this one feels like the real thing...sleazy, cheap, over the top, and gratuitously violent. Hauer makes the perfect choice to never let on that he's in on the joke, playing the hobo straight as a somewhat confused and frightened old man surrounded by total insanity."
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| 40 T2 |  |
Police Academy (1984) - 27 Mar 2011
"The only Police Academy film with any laughs at all, it's still mostly not good. The bit with 70s porn star Georgina Spelvin blowing Commandant Lassard behind the podium was pretty funny though."
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| 80 T9 |  |
House (1977) - 07 Feb 2011
"The story is nothing out of the ordinary, but the visual presentation is absolutely mental. The film is campy and absurd, and is packed with clever effects and camera/editing tricks...a bizarre combination of virtuoso technique and rapid fire strangeness. It's a twisted kaleidoscopic nightmare that simply HAS to be seen to be believed. Also, I would totally marry Kung Fu."
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| 50 T3 |  |
One Crazy Summer (1986) - 15 May 2008
"The mid 80s gave us all sorts of these quirky romantic comedies starring John Cusack. I'm not really sure why, because none of them were any good."
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| 45 T3 |  |
Very Bad Things (1998) - 14 Aug 2007
"The scene where the whore gets accidentally killed is pretty funny. It's mostly downhill after that, which is too bad, since the whore getting killed is one of the first things to happen."
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| 85 T10 |  |
Valhalla Rising (2010) - 04 Jan 2013
"A mute Viking warrior and a young boy go on an existential journey to hell in this dark and mesmerizing flick by Nicolas Winding Refn. Brutally violent and achingly beautiful in equal doses, drenched in ominous music and intense bursts of color. It reminded me a lot of Aguirre the Wrath of God, but instead of Klaus Kinski lurching around like a goon, you get Mads Mikkelsen brandishing an axe and staring a hole through one motherfucker after another. Epic."
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| 40 T2 |  |
Cocoon (1985) - 14 Aug 2007
"Old people swimming with aliens. And Steve Guttenberg."
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| 10 T1 |  |
Starting a Skyscraper (1902) - 20 Jul 2012
"IMDb calls this an "excellent study of modern American push and enterprise", but don't kid yourself. It's 30 seconds of grainy, pointless footage of a big hole in the ground."
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| 10 T1 |  |
Tommy Boy (1995) - 14 Aug 2007
"Chris Farley was horrible. As far as I can tell, he only ever had a career because SNL needed a fat guy to fall down a lot. His schtick is totally unfunny, and so are the majority of his films. David Spade sucks also."
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