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TheDenizen

Celluloid Junkie - 2984 Film Ratings

Member Since: Apr 13, 2006

Location: Toronto, Canada

Age: 43

Gender: Male

Status: Single

Bio: I watch Kung Fu, Samurai, Exploitation, Action, Western, and Horror flicks. I can enjoy the classics, but I especially love low budget garbage.
more Featured Reviews
65 51% Between God, the Devil and a Winchester (1968) - Aug 02, 2010
"Who knew Richard Harrison had a career before he became (in)famous for starring in a shitload of half baked Godfrey Ho Ninja flicks in the 80s? Not a bad movie, but really nothing special or terribly original either, just about what you'd expect from a spaghetti western of this era. The best thing about it was Gilbert Roland's subtly nuanced performance as Chasquisdo. Yeah, I said "subtly nuanced" in a review of a violent shoot 'em up movie."
95 98% Predator (1987) - Aug 13, 2007
"Awesome action flick with one of the best ensemble casts of the 80's. It's great how the crack military team shows up to the jungle with tons of high tech, but it doesn't help them at all. In the end it comes down to Arnie flexing his pecs and brawling half naked in the mud with an alien. They just don't make tough guy action films like this any more."
90 95% Infernal Affairs (2002) - Aug 13, 2007
"The original classic cops n' gangsters cat and mouse game that was remade as The Departed. This flick has just as much star power as the remake, and doesn't shoehorn in a pointless love triangle. Ergo, it's a better film."
1% My Girl (1991) - Aug 13, 2007
"Macaulay Culkin dying is the only good thing that happens in this movie."
50 26% Candy Tangerine Man (1975) - Jun 19, 2012
"A tough LA pimp has to balance the demands of slinging ass on Sunset Blvd with his secret life in the suburbs with a wife and kids. Really cheap and cruddy blaxploitation flick, it's got some great funky tunes and slick jive talk, but all the violence is bloodless. You can't get away without having any gore if you're gonna have a scene where the hero shoves a guy's hand into the garbage disposal."
65 51% Sailor Suit and Machine Gun (1981) - Jun 06, 2013
"When their boss dies, a small yakuza gang bizarrely decides to make his teenage daughter the new boss, and they get into a series of scrapes surrounding a missing heroin shipment. Ostensibly a comedy, it's actually quite dark with the funny bits few and far between (though perhaps the intended satire was too subtle for this gaijin), but it's a pretty good story and the girl is just cute enough and weird enough to hold your interest."
90 95% Being John Malkovich (1999) - Jan 29, 2007
"A unique and clever movie experience. This is also my go-to "rebuttal" flick whenever someone tries to convince me that Cameron Diaz is hot."
90 95% Fantasia (1940) - Aug 13, 2007
"Trippy Disney classic with excellent animation and music. Watching this flick on psychedelic drugs is as close as I've ever come to a religious experience."
30 10% Don't Go Near the Park (1981) - Jun 11, 2012
"Dopey horror flick about a trio of runaway kids living on an abandoned and supposedly haunted ranch (inexplicably in the middle of a park) who get terrorized by the last two survivors of an ancient race of immortal cannibals. Take a moment to let your brain assimilate that mental plot summary. Awful script, awful acting, awful effects and the only recognizable name is Linnea Quigley who gets wasted in a short cameo role (though she does manage to squeeze a brief shower scene in there)."
50 26% No Cure for Cancer (1992) - May 09, 2012
"I used to really love Dennis Leary as a teen, until I discovered that most of his material was recycled from Bill Hicks' act. Leary is a bluster of kinetic energy on stage, but his stuff isn't very original....his goofy ranting was just more palatable to middle America than Hicks' genuine anger."