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TheDenizen

Celluloid Junkie - 2968 Rankings

Member Since: Apr 13, 2006

Location: Toronto, Canada

Age: 42

Gender: Male

Status: Single

Bio: I watch Kung Fu, Samurai, Exploitation, Action, Western, and Horror flicks. I can enjoy the classics, but I especially love low budget garbage.

more Featured Reviews
70 T7 The Hole (2001) - Jan 24, 2007
"I enjoyed the Rashomon-like way the story was told and retold, with each version of the events being drastically different (and more sinister) than the one before. The end definitely falls kinda flat though. It DOES have a 16 year old Keira Knightley appearing topless if that's your thing."
60 T5 The Brave Little Toaster (1987) - Aug 13, 2007
"One of only three movies ever to make me cry...and I saw this as an adult."
10 T1 Dirty Dancing (1987) - Aug 13, 2007
"Fuck you Patrick Swayze, Baby BELONGS in a corner."
20 T1 G.I. Blues (1960) - Apr 18, 2012
"Well, seen one Elvis flick, you've seen 'em all. Another instantly forgettable story about a crooning soldier packed with embarrassingly bad acting and music."
45 T3 The Matrix (1999) - Aug 13, 2007
"Why do people like this? Some nice effects, but the acting sucked, the story was dumb (yet pretentious) and 100% predictable, and the action was all stuff that Yuen Woo-Ping had already been doing better for years in Hong Kong. I maintain that people only liked this movie because for the vast majority of them, it was the first time they ever saw slickly produced Hong Kong style action."
50 T3 Sorceress (1982) - Nov 03, 2009
"Ohoho, this was a stinker. 70 minutes of campy Swords n' Sorcery crap, but then at the end, this flick totally redeemed itself. An evil goddess is summoned into the night sky, so to combat her, the good guys summon a giant lion/dragon/god/puppet thing which looks hilariously cheap and utterly ridiculous, and it blasts the evil goddess' face off with laser beams that shoot from its eyes. Seriously. It's fucking incredible. "
25 T1 Boy Meets Girl (1994) - May 07, 2013
"A guy meets a girl at a pub and goes back to her flat, where she drugs, imprisons and tortures him. The DVD case belches "The English answer to Man Bites Dog" but that's complete bollocks. Man Bites Dog was a bitingly funny look at serial killing as a mere occupation, which also blurred the line between observation of violence and participation in violence. Boy Meets Girl is 90 minutes of an insane chick rambling nonsense, punctuated by annoyingly frequent yet pointless intertitles."
70 T7 Zankoku ij├┤ gyakutai monogatari: Genroku onna keizu (1969) - Feb 26, 2011
"Teruo Ishii directs another anthology of tales of sexual depravity and torture in Tokugawa era Japan. All manner of nastiness is on display, including a rousing game of human pinatas, and a scene where a topless woman whips a pair of midgets bloody with a riding crop. The climax sees a group of bulls with flaming torches strapped to their horns being stampeded into a room full of courtesans wearing red dresses. Brilliant."
60 T5 Find a Place to Die (1968) - Oct 01, 2012
"A desperate woman hires a bunch of ruffians to help her dig up her husband from a landslide at their mine, which results in several groups of bandits trying to seize control of the gold. Not a bad story with a large cast of characters each with their own motives, and it's kinda nice to see a Western where Mexican outlaws actually have some depth and aren't just used as comic relief or cannon fodder. Of course, the romantic subplot is laughable rubbish."
99 T10 Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb (1964) - Feb 05, 2007
"Funniest film ever made about a nuclear holocaust, and quite possibly the funniest film ever, period. Peter Sellers is absolutely brilliant in three extremely different roles."