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TheDenizen

Celluloid Junkie - 2966 Rankings

Member Since: Apr 13, 2006

Location: Toronto, Canada

Age: 41

Gender: Male

Status: Single

Bio: I watch Kung Fu, Samurai, Exploitation, Action, Western, and Horror flicks. I can enjoy the classics, but I especially love low budget garbage.

more Featured Reviews
95 T10 The Raid 2 (2014) - Jun 27, 2014
"Indonesian supercop Rama viciously mutilates and murders dozens and dozens of bad dudes, in a dazzling array of fight scenes absolutely drenched in gore. If the film has a single flaw, it's the 150 minute run time...the scale of violence on display is so immense, it can feel exhausting to watch it continuing to unfold for so long. By the end, the viewer is left feeling as drained as Rama himself: battered, breathless, and dripping with enough fake blood to make Bruce Campbell proud. Amazing."
45 T3 Shock 'Em Dead (1991) - Jun 02, 2011
"Pathetic, cheese encrusted 80's rock n' roll/horror flick about a dweeb who sells his soul for guitar god powers. The music is flat out embarrassing, the band (Spastik Kolon) are total dorks, and the gore is all cheap and crappy. The majority of this was filmed in someone's house, the only redeeming factor is the presence of Traci Lords as the band manager, easily the best actress in the film. Sadly, she's also the only girl in the movie who doesn't get her tits out."
50 T3 Suay Laak Sai (2007) - Nov 23, 2009
"I saw the dubbed version of this, so maybe that's the reason that none of it made a lick of sense. 7 pretty asian nurses, none of them get naked, and the movie bounces back and forth in time constantly. Boo. Bonus points for the woman who chokes to death on a fetus."
60 T5 Pretty in Pink (1986) - Aug 13, 2007
"I found Annie Potts disturbingly sexy in this. Also, why can't Molly Ringwald see that Ducky is PERFECT for her? That materialistic bitch."
80 T9 Shaolin Prince (1982) - Nov 03, 2011
"Two Chinese princes are separated as young children before the rest of their family is slaughtered, and years later they find each other and team up to kill the bad guy. A really simple story, but what a feast of kung fu. Tang Chia goes all out with the fantasy martial arts, including tons of wirework and impossible acrobatics amongst the incredible variety of fighting with novel weapons. An unheralded Shaw Brothers classic."
85 T10 Under the Skin (2014) - Mar 04, 2015
"Scarlett Johansson plays an alien who takes the form of a seductress to prey on men in Scotland, providing a fascinating lens through which to view the human experience. It's a brilliant high-concept yet sparse sci-fi that explains absolutely nothing about the fantastical things it shows you but leaves little doubt about its intentions. The subtly ominous sound design is superb. Scarlett gives a riveting performance, and she doesn't look half bad naked, either."
40 T2 Ghostbusters II (1989) - Jan 28, 2007
"Shit. Why are people so desperate to see this franchise revived?"
T1 The Forgotten (2004) - Aug 13, 2007
"What a stupid piece of shit this was. When it ended I was actually angry about the time I wasted watching it, and I wanted to do physical violence to the disc to spare anyone else the same pain."
75 T8 The Seventh Curse (1986) - Apr 22, 2010
"Silly action/comedy/horror hybrid of the type only made in Hong Kong with an awesome cast of actors and kung fu stars. Chin Siu-Ho gets mixed up with the shady Worm Clan and is afflicted with a deadly blood curse, and the only cure is to eat the eyes of a giant Buddha statue in a temple guarded by an army of fanatics ...It's a manic jungle adventure with black magic, demons, gore, zombies, machine guns and kung fu. Fucking sweet."
10 T1 The Cat in the Hat (2003) - Aug 13, 2007
"Yeah, I think I'm done with Mike Myers now. I don't ever want to see his gurning face again."