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Celluloid Junkie - 3078 Film Ratings

Member Since: Apr 13, 2006

Location: Toronto, Canada

Age: 45

Gender: Male

Status: Single

Bio: I watch Kung Fu, Samurai, Exploitation, Action, Western, and Horror flicks. I can enjoy the classics, but I especially love low budget garbage.
more Featured Reviews
80 84% The Lathe of Heaven (1980) - Aug 02, 2010
"Awesome mind bending sci-fi flick. Its low budget, with some less than convincing effects, but this is true science's less about lasers and explosions and more about ideas, and this flick presents excellent ideas in spades. Well worth your time."
60 40% Burial Ground: The Nights of Terror (1981) - Aug 20, 2010
"Pretty dopey zombie schlocker which is infamous for having an adult dwarf cast in the role of a child with an Oedipus complex. The people in this flick are officially the dumbest ever in the history of zombie movies. "Let's just let them in, maybe they want something inside the house that's not us." Seriously? Some clever kills and gore effects, though."
80 84% Shaolin Prince (1982) - Nov 03, 2011
"Two Chinese princes are separated as young children before the rest of their family is slaughtered, and years later they find each other and team up to kill the bad guy. A really simple story, but what a feast of kung fu. Tang Chia goes all out with the fantasy martial arts, including tons of wirework and impossible acrobatics amongst the incredible variety of fighting with novel weapons. An unheralded Shaw Brothers classic."
75 74% City of the Living Dead (1980) - Aug 14, 2007
"One Lucio Fulci's better zombie schlockers, this is a little slow paced but has a handful of simply awesome gore scenes. The bit with Giovanni Radice getting his head impaled on a huge drill press is classic. Sadly, most of the zombies don't show up until almost the very end, and they're not very scary. The climactic fire stunt is particularly unimpressive, but it's still a ton of maggoty fun. "
75 74% Idiocracy (2006) - Sep 12, 2009
"Underrated comedy with lots of clever ideas about how stupid the world might become. I totally related to Luke Wilson's character, I've been in the same situation where it's easier to feed a stupid person a lie they'll understand than actually try and get them to comprehend the complicated truth. Funny stuff, but it slides disappointingly into action movie cliches for the final reel."
75 74% Venus in Furs (1969) - Aug 10, 2010
"Excellent location photography all around Turkey and Brazil, and a bunch of old school camera effects and clever shots involving mirrors. It's got a cool jazz score by Manfred Mann, and doesn't suffer from any of the boring stretches common for Franco movies (even though it all doesn't make a ton of sense). Probably Jess Franco's best film, it's the only one of his I've seen that goes for genuine eroticism rather than exploitation."
55 33% Star Wars: Episode IX - The Rise of Skywalker (2019) - Dec 21, 2019
"As a mindless popcorn action flick, it's pretty good with plenty of chases, fights and enjoyable spectacle. As a Star Wars movie though, it's a steaming pile of hot garbage, shitting all over the legacy and accomplishments of the original trilogy with gleeful abandon. A frustrating and obviously cobbled together mish-mash of bad ideas, nonsensical plot contrivances and cringey fan service that left me feeling nothing but disappointment for what could have been. Fuck you, Disney."
75 74% The Seventh Curse (1986) - Apr 23, 2010
"Silly action/comedy/horror hybrid of the type only made in Hong Kong with an awesome cast of actors and kung fu stars. Chin Siu-Ho gets mixed up with the shady Worm Clan and is afflicted with a deadly blood curse, and the only cure is to eat the eyes of a giant Buddha statue in a temple guarded by an army of fanatics ...It's a manic jungle adventure with black magic, demons, gore, zombies, machine guns and kung fu. Fucking sweet."
75 74% The Naked Spur (1953) - Mar 27, 2012
"A makeshift posse of three strangers catch an outlaw with a $5000 bounty on his head and must try to work together to collect, despite the outlaw scheming to fuel their mistrust of each other. Jimmy Stewart gets top billing but the star of the show is Robert Ryan as the conniving cattle rustler who unerringly picks out each man's Achilles heel and attacks it verbally. Janet Leigh is there as a plot device, but doesn't have much to do except make coffee and scream when the bullets start flying."
80 84% Heroes Two (1974) - Mar 05, 2011
"Typical Chang Cheh feature with lots of sweaty shirtless dudes pontificating about honor and brotherhood before getting into insanely bloody kung fu scraps. Good times."