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Ununnilium

Film Freak - 970 Rankings

Member Since: Oct 22, 2010

Location: Pittsburgh, PA, USA

more Recent Rankings
15 T1 Carnival Magic (1981) - Oct 06, 2017
"The fact that they took the idea of a talking animal and did *nothing* with it just shows how little *movie* is in this movie. It's *weirdly* boring, somehow less than the sum of its parts - if you stood around and taped the background goings-on at an actual traveling carnival, with minimal editing for watchability, it would be more interesting than this."
21 T1 Wizards of the Lost Kingdom II (1989) - Oct 01, 2017
"Better than the first one, but that's not saying much. I really don't even understand the mindset behind this; sure, "make a cheap direct-to-video movie cashing in on current trends", but "make a movie" is part of that thought, and it really seems like this is not quite even a movie? The goofy villains were fun, tho."
19 T1 Wizards of the Lost Kingdom (1985) - Sep 03, 2017
"This movie is just, hardly anything. They threw a bunch of fantasy tropes on a screen but didn't *do* anything with them. There are a couple of good performances, but it's mostly just the skeleton of a quest story with barely anything hung over it."
72 T6 The Web of Caves (1999) - Jul 29, 2017
"A cute little thing having fun with the cliches of Doctor Who. Inoffensive."
27 T2 Yongary, Monster from the Deep (1967) - Jul 18, 2017
"Not terrible, but too boring to be a kaiju classic. The attempts at human drama never really amount to anything. Yongary himself never gets a personality. There's only one really goofy moment (the "dancing"), and even then, the film's trying way too hard to make it fun and wacky. The city-crushing action is on-point, though."
26 T1 The Land That Time Forgot (1975) - Jun 20, 2017
"It's weird. There are clearly *ideas* in this movie, but it does absolutely nothing with them. I can only assume they were taken from the original book, and the producers just got a list of them to execute as lazily as possible."
24 T1 The Loves of Hercules (1960) - Jun 20, 2017
"Baffling yet boring. It really should be interesting how nonsensical the plot is, how terrible the special effects are, but it's just boring. (It's also really pointlessly sexist - the Amazons only exist to seduce and murder dudes! - but that's *always* boring.)"
60 T4 The Craft (1996) - May 19, 2017
"I see why this movie inspired so many young witches, but I also see why not many adults go back to it. The front half is full of empowerment and friendship, the characters forming close-knit bonds, supporting each other emotionally, and learning more about their power. It makes an impression. Then the back half throws it all away. The screenplay decides that girls can't be trusted with power, so characterization goes out the window and it turns into a mediocre psychological thriller. Bah."
87 T9 The Blues Brothers (1980) - May 12, 2017
"This movie just really enjoys everything it's about. Big explosions! Car chases! Jazz and blues and the culture and lives of the people who created it! A lot of spectacle-based movies end up being oddly dispassionate about it, asking you to turn your brain off in a way that makes it difficult to truly engage with what's going on. The Blues Brothers, by contrast, gives you a river of things to enjoy, that you can't help but get swept up in."
39 T2 The Notebook (2004) - May 08, 2017
"It's well-acted, and Gosling and McAdams have good chemistry. The idea of people at the end of their lives, still in love, trying to care for each other is lovely. But the plot is *so* cliche and *so* predictable and so so *so* boring, the chemistry drains like water from a tub every time they have to speak the absurd dialogue, and it's full of unsettling and destructive emotional-manipulation-is-true-love bullshit. The shitty romantic tropes of the last century have come home to roost here."