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Ununnilium

Film Freak - 965 Rankings

Member Since: Oct 22, 2010

Location: Pittsburgh, PA, USA

more Recent Rankings
26 T1 The Land That Time Forgot (1975) - Jun 20, 2017
"It's weird. There are clearly *ideas* in this movie, but it does absolutely nothing with them. I can only assume they were taken from the original book, and the producers just got a list of them to execute as lazily as possible."
24 T1 The Loves of Hercules (1960) - Jun 20, 2017
"Baffling yet boring. It really should be interesting how nonsensical the plot is, how terrible the special effects are, but it's just boring. (It's also really pointlessly sexist - the Amazons only exist to seduce and murder dudes! - but that's *always* boring.)"
60 T4 The Craft (1996) - May 19, 2017
"I see why this movie inspired so many young witches, but I also see why not many adults go back to it. The front half is full of empowerment and friendship, the characters forming close-knit bonds, supporting each other emotionally, and learning more about their power. It makes an impression. Then the back half throws it all away. The screenplay decides that girls can't be trusted with power, so characterization goes out the window and it turns into a mediocre psychological thriller. Bah."
87 T9 The Blues Brothers (1980) - May 12, 2017
"This movie just really enjoys everything it's about. Big explosions! Car chases! Jazz and blues and the culture and lives of the people who created it! A lot of spectacle-based movies end up being oddly dispassionate about it, asking you to turn your brain off in a way that makes it difficult to truly engage with what's going on. The Blues Brothers, by contrast, gives you a river of things to enjoy, that you can't help but get swept up in."
39 T2 The Notebook (2004) - May 08, 2017
"It's well-acted, and Gosling and McAdams have good chemistry. The idea of people at the end of their lives, still in love, trying to care for each other is lovely. But the plot is *so* cliche and *so* predictable and so so *so* boring, the chemistry drains like water from a tub every time they have to speak the absurd dialogue, and it's full of unsettling and destructive emotional-manipulation-is-true-love bullshit. The shitty romantic tropes of the last century have come home to roost here."
20 T1 Starcrash (1979) - May 06, 2017
"It's amazing how a movie can throw in *so much* Star Wars stuff - robots, starships, lightsabers, smugglers, space magic, space empires, superweapons, family identity reveals - and yet have absolutely no idea how any of it worked in Star Wars. Like, the emperor whose government sentences the heroes to hard labor in a horrible prison with brutal guards is not supposed to be the good guy, you know?"
86 T9 The Princess Bride (1987) - May 06, 2017
"I'm glad I finally sat down and watched this all the way through, so I could really appreciate the ridiculous level of charm on display. The dialogue sparkles and the tone is pitch-perfect - it's difficult for modern-day adventure pastiche to hit the right combo of playful and action-y, but The Princess Bride is the definition of good-natured. (Minus a couple points where sexism and weird ideas about relationships get a hold.) It's fun and inspiring, a movie I can see watching again and again."
26 T1 The Beast of Hollow Mountain (1956) - May 06, 2017
"This movie thinks someone who explicitly drinks to forget his dead wife and neglects his child in the process makes both great comic relief and a great victim. It thinks that an arrogant American who moves into a small town and undercuts local merchants makes a great hero. But most of all, it thinks that this draggy bullshit makes such an intense story that we won't miss the monster action until the last twenty minutes. It's fun when it gets there, but hoo boy."
34 T2 Reptilicus (1961) - May 03, 2017
"Something I do not say lightly: This has some of the most hilariously bad special effects in all of cinema. Worth it just for that, but it's also just a fun monster movie. The attempt at a science-versus-military conflict doesn't quite come off, resulting in some draggy bits, but it results in some cool explosions."
15 T1 3 Headed Shark Attack (2015) - May 03, 2017
"Just... really incredibly lazy. Uses the pretense of being a fun, intentionally bad movie to just *not try*. Bleh."