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Film Freak - 953 Rankings

Member Since: Oct 22, 2010

Location: Pittsburgh, PA, USA

more Recent Rankings
47 T3 The Time Travelers (1964) - Apr 25, 2017
"It's interesting. This movie gestures vaguely at deep and complex concepts, issues of prejudice and relationships and the complicated politics that crop up around issues of pure survival, but isn't especially interested in actually exploring any of them. This is the kind of movie you might enjoy if you're good at spinning worlds beyond what's on-screen."
20 T1 Avalanche (1978) - Apr 24, 2017
"Amazingly incoherent. The early parts drag along, setting stuff up, and then the avalanche comes down late and there's hardly any "struggle for survival", and they try to make it up with a car crash and the gratuitous death of someone who already survived. Nobody has any kind of character arc, and the whole thing feels, just, *remarkably* pointless."
29 T2 Zoombies (2016) - Apr 24, 2017
"You'd think making bad-on-purpose movies is easy - make a movie and just don't try. But not every Three-Headed Shark Attack becomes a Sharknado. There's a rhythm that goes into a good bad movie, and these zombified zoo animals don't have it. There's some funny ideas, but nothing sticks out like Ghost Shark or Megashark vs. Giant Octopus - names I know from people making GIFs of good parts. If they'd given a few more fucks, it could've gone from "late night Netflix" to "bad movie party classic"."
69 T5 The Midnight Swim (2014) - Apr 21, 2017
"A good try. Using found footage to tell a story that's more drama than horror is lovely. There are a lot of interesting ideas, good techniques and stunning shots - but it doesn't come together into a coherent work. What we get hints at a compelling thematic statement, but it's muddled by subplots - I wasn't sure who the main character was until two-thirds of the way through. This was the writer/director's first feature film, and I'm sure she learned a lot; I look forward to her future efforts."
73 T6 Superman Returns (2006) - Apr 16, 2017
"A weird movie - a loving homage to classic film, only the "classics" are the first two Superman films, and it's actually better than either. It's too much a 2006 movie, desaturated and overlong, but when it mixes in 1970s tropes, it becomes a rather pleasing combination of fun and deep - Kevin Spacey's Luthor is a straight upgrade on Gene Hackman's. You really do have to have seen Superman II to get half of what's going on, though. Inessential but fun."
66 T5 Superman IV: The Quest for Peace (1987) - Apr 15, 2017
"There's a lot of ways this avoids the flaws of the first three. It has less terrible humor, more Superman-ish optimism (even if it does get a over the top). It's got a workable story, with an A-plot enemy that Superman has to get smart to win, and a B-plot about how the world's problems can't be punched away. But it's just... kind of boring. The interesting stuff about the B-plot goes away after the A-plot starts, and the rest is basically two really long fights, made of generic midair punching."
52 T3 Superman III (1983) - Apr 15, 2017
"So much bad comedy. So much bad, lazily hateful comedy. There are the seeds of a good movie in here - about Clark Kent reconnecting to humanity in the place that raised him, about an alien inspired by humans overcoming a human whose greed has driven away his humanity. But there's so much contempt for humanity in the movie and its casual disdain for its characters and its audience. (Robert Vaughn is great, tho. Easily the funniest thing in here.)"
69 T5 Superman II (1980) - Apr 13, 2017
"An improvement on Superman: The Movie, but with a big problem at the core: the idea that Superman must stop being Superman to love Lois, the idea that you have to stop being special to be truly human. It's toxic and arbitrary and messes with all of the cool, interesting parts of the movie."
66 T5 Superman: The Movie (1978) - Apr 13, 2017
"!? This one gets talked up as the really good Superman movie, but it doesn't function as a movie? The visual storytelling is confusing - the "spin around the Earth to turn back time" scene is the tip of the iceberg. The non-visual storytelling is confusing - oddly edited and thematically incoherent. The characterization is weak - Christopher Reeve is great but gets little to work with, Gene Hackman is an unfunny joke and I'm sorry. There's good parts, but it's a weird and not cohesive whole."
14 T1 Fifty Shades of Grey (2015) - Apr 10, 2017
"50 Shades wants to be an adult, kinky Twilight, but doesn't understand how. In Twilight, the audience stand-in is swept away by a powerful, dangerous man who knows what she wants and gives it without her having to ask, while she heals him and brings him into the light. But Christian Grey isn't thrillingly dangerous, he's just fucked up. He violates boundaries the protagonist didn't want violated. The indulgence doesn't work. There's so much better BDSM smut out there, if you're really looking."