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Celluloid Junkie - 4595 Film Ratings

Member Since: 17 May 2008

Location: Rochester, MN, USA

Age: 37

Bio: i love movies, in fact i am on a quest to see all of the movies ever made, i do realize that's not possible, but at least i set the bar high. i was drawn even more to this site after i got my first star. i now write mini-reviews for every movie i watch, and am going through my back catalog to write them for every movie i've rated, i've got a long way to go. might i interest you in donating to the give me a star foundation?

more Featured Reviews

76 T6 Warcraft Warcraft (2016) - 06 Oct 2017
"As a work of art, a critic's film, this is complete crap. But it's an action movie, it's made for people who don't give a shit about tracking shots, metaphors, and film theory. I really anticipated a dud here, I have no idea how closely it followed the games, but there's way way too much lore to fit into two hours and you can tell, because the movie glosses over details that I'm sure a WoW player would appreciate, but the movie is not bad, not at all, except for Ben Foster, he really sucks here."
42 T1 How It Ends How It Ends (2018) - 26 Sep 2018
"Further cementing Netflix's association with cut-rate sci-fi is a lame-pocolypse outing with Forest Whitaker and a bunch of nobodies. I've about had it up to here with lazy sci-fi that leaves things up to interpretation. I don't want allegory or ambiguity in my sci-fi. I want clever storytelling and immense amounts of imagination. Is that so much to ask for? If McLaren can't deliver that, he can always take his writing to a publisher of YA fiction, they gobble this crap up like Skittles."
89 T10 The Conjuring The Conjuring (2013) - 27 Dec 2016
"This is the scary ass, haunted, cursed voodoo movie that you thought you were going to see when you heard news stories and advertisements for "The Blair Witch Project" and "Paranormal Activity", only this one is a bona fide, knock your socks off, scare fest. I was so friggin' scared that I was swearing out loud in the movie theater, something I've never done before."
50 T1 Assassin's Creed Assassin's Creed (2016) - 06 Nov 2017
"This is what happens when you scrape the bottom of the barrel and throw your movie plot chips on a video game's story. Uwe Boll found out the hard way that in 15 minutes of plot a video game has, holes are ok, but give it 90 minutes to marinade and you've got a crap sandwich. Since there's a genetic code for violence and it's been hidden in this "apple" for over 500 years, what exactly would the Templar have done with it prior to Watson and Crick? Eat it? Or smear it on like a salve?"
90 T10 The Conversation The Conversation (1974) - 20 Jul 2018
"Hot off the heels of what is generally considered to be one of the best movies of all time, Coppola delivers, in my opinion, a far better movie. "The Conversation" is gripping, it's thrilling, it's mysterious, and Hackman sells the role as one hell of a character in Caul. There's a degree of subtlety in his paranoia and overcautious privacy that ultimately destroys him, ending in one of the most harrowing, poignant scenes ever committed to film."
76 T6 Star Wars: Episode VII - The Force Awakens Star Wars: Episode VII - The Force Awakens (2015) - 04 Dec 2017
"Episodes 4-6 gained a rabid following of sci-fi misfits. Episodes 1-3 quaked the fan community's faith. Now, we see a return to form, an apology to the fans in the form of an infinitely better movie. For the uninitiated, or the fence sitters, like myself, "The Force Awakens" is an entertaining and complacent revelry in the universe that Lucas created forty years ago. The world building has ended, and fans may be sated, but I'm a little disappointed, but that's not to say it's not a good movie."
82 T9 Lone Wolf and Cub: Sword of Vengeance Lone Wolf and Cub: Sword of Vengeance (1972) - 15 Dec 2021
"From the first installment, it's easy to see why this series could justify four installments in a single year. It's a tremendously watchable exploitation flick and for the era, that amount of artery spurting is unheard of. I was gleefully waiting for every next instance of blood rain, and never had to wait too long. Blood rain is my favorite kind of blood...and rain."
30 T1 Point Break Point Break (2015) - 20 Mar 2017
87 T10 Star Trek Star Trek (2009) - 17 May 2009
"The "Star Trek" movie that alienates trekkies for the sake of mass appeal, and it definitely is appealing. This movie has a ton of action, and a generally exciting, and, at many times, a funny plot. While the average person may find this movie very entertaining, the "Star Trek" fan will find the deviation from reality in past movies unsettling. Regardless of the artistic license taken in this movie, I definitely look forward to see where they take the franchise next."
70 T4 Sucker Punch Sucker Punch (2011) - 04 Jul 2011
"Snyder was trying pretty hard to take his glossy stylized action and drape it over an intriguing and sophisticated story, it ended up like a very determined man attempting to mince an onion with a candelabra. It still has great eye candy, especially of the female variety, but don't expect a movie that will astonish you, or even vaguely satisfy any deeper cerebral function."