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Cinema Addict - 1564 Film Ratings

Member Since: Mar 20, 2007

Location: Racine, WI, USA

Bio: I write reviews that say more about me than the films I watch. That's okay, I think.
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15 10% Scream Baby Scream (1969) - Mar 28, 2011
"Not quite the worst movie I own on DVD (I can't seem to get rid of my copy of Episode I). Qualitywise, on par with any theatrically released 70's porn film-- minus the sex, of course. It's basically A Bucket of Blood, but without all that pesky "actually a good movie" baggage holding it down."
60 48% Cat's Eye (1985) - Oct 24, 2011
"Cute cat. Fantastic actor, that cat, hope it got a good post-wrap mackerel. The first two stories are better than their sources, thanks to darn good casts and decent scripts. The third story, not an adaptation, lacks those things. There's something compelling about the little goblin character and his adversarial relationship with our feline hero (a low fantasy take on certain peripheral elements of Lovecraft's dream cycle?), but as it stands, it's inspired but half-realized coke talk."
90 92% Battleship Potemkin (1925) - Mar 01, 2011
"Stairs scene. Everything everybody starting with Cahiers has said. Yup. It's in the public domain, so getting thrown out of the Republican Convention for watching a non-porn movie is only one Google search away."
75 68% Dr. No (1962) - Mar 20, 2007
"Not exactly known for their political correctness, Dr. No makes the rest of the Bond films look like 30 Rock. Popeyed black sidekick? Check. Dumb blonde damsel that keeps fucking up the program? Check. Yellow menace? Check. Bond sleeps or tries to sleep with every woman that crosses his path? Yes, except for the black one ('Freelance'), even though she's gorgeous. It is pretty stylish, visionary and usually interesting even though it's not exactly enlightened and gets sleepy here and there."
99 98% Repo Man (1984) - Oct 18, 2010
"Fuck you."
70 61% It's Alive (1974) - Mar 28, 2011
"Banned in most civilized, decent countries. Rated PG in America, because the MPAA was (is) staffed entirely by violent sociopaths with 400 dollar a day PCP habits who are inexplicably offended by conversational swearing and exposed breasts. Pretty fucked up movie. If you like fucked up movies, here you go."
95 96% Akira (1988) - Mar 20, 2007
"The space where ultra-violence and transhumanism meet. If you're not up your own ass enough to be intrigued by that concept, no amount of beautiful cel animation will keep you interested. I, however, happen to like the smell of my own farts."
90 92% Glengarry Glen Ross (1992) - May 25, 2012
"Swearing is for closers. Mamet's overrated, you know damn well he is, stop pretending. I do love me some filthy language though, and every theater dork's favorite Republican certainly does deliver on that front. We've got swears, we've got cusses, we've got curses, slurs, oaths, dozens, shut-ups and-- Grandma Lily's favorite --put-downs. All in one convenient DVD, for one low low price of [I don't know. I borrowed it from the local public library, so it was free] what a bargain!"
80 78% 28 Days Later (2002) - Mar 20, 2007
"They're zombies. You're wrong, Danny Boyle is wrong, George Romero is wrong, Simon Pegg is wrong, Max Brooks has issues because his mother was the impetus for the milf fetish (he's also wrong). The movie's pretty quality, I suppose, but I seriously just heard the "28 Days.. isn't a zombie movie because they're fast" in 20freaking12. The mechanics and the name of the zombie never mattered so long as they look like people, are unintelligent and help cause the breakdown of civilization."
10 7% Dante's Peak (1997) - Mar 20, 2007
"I remember seeing this at a matinee as a teenager, and the whole audience just completely turned on the movie. It was one of the few spontaneous tribal experiences of my life. Just twenty people, an unlikely demo ranging from cute teenage girls to nerdy teenage girls to high school basketball players to me and my posse of wannabe punkers and druggies to elderly couples just out for an afternoon picture- all united in the cause of riffing this shit to pieces. Matinees rule."