nilkynarfy

Bio: I write reviews that say more about me than the films I watch. That's okay, I think.
Featured Reviews
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It's Alive (1974) - 28 Mar 2011
"Banned in most civilized, decent countries. Rated PG in America, because the MPAA was (is) staffed entirely by violent sociopaths with 400 dollar a day PCP habits who are inexplicably offended by conversational swearing and exposed breasts. Pretty fucked up movie. If you like fucked up movies, here you go."
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Dante's Peak (1997) - 20 Mar 2007
"I remember seeing this at a matinee as a teenager, and the whole audience just completely turned on the movie. It was one of the few spontaneous tribal experiences of my life. Just twenty people, an unlikely demo ranging from cute teenage girls to nerdy teenage girls to high school basketball players to me and my posse of wannabe punkers and druggies to elderly couples just out for an afternoon picture- all united in the cause of riffing this shit to pieces. Matinees rule."
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Cat's Eye (1985) - 24 Oct 2011
"Cute cat. Fantastic actor, that cat, hope it got a good post-wrap mackerel. The first two stories are better than their sources, thanks to darn good casts and decent scripts. The third story, not an adaptation, lacks those things. There's something compelling about the little goblin character and his adversarial relationship with our feline hero (a low fantasy take on certain peripheral elements of Lovecraft's dream cycle?), but as it stands, it's inspired but half-realized coke talk."
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Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome (1985) - 20 Mar 2007
"The presumably higher budget allows it to delve further into Max's world than the previous film, but it's not as exciting, and the bonus bucks just meant they didn't have to be inventive anymore. It was good for a regular movie, but it lacks eau de max. Imagine if Jarmusch's Down by Law had enough money to build a track for their dolly instead of using an old hatchback, a piece of plywood and the patient but eager legs and backs of production assistants. Would it be Down by Law anymore?"
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Akira (1988) - 20 Mar 2007
"The space where ultra-violence and transhumanism meet. If you're not up your own ass enough to be intrigued by that concept, no amount of beautiful cel animation will keep you interested. I, however, happen to like the smell of my own farts."
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Repo Man (1984) - 18 Oct 2010
"Fuck you."
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Dr. No (1962) - 20 Mar 2007
"Not exactly known for their political correctness, Dr. No makes the rest of the Bond films look like 30 Rock. Popeyed black sidekick? Check. Dumb blonde damsel that keeps fucking up the program? Check. Yellow menace? Check. Bond sleeps or tries to sleep with every woman that crosses his path? Yes, except for the black one ('Freelance'), even though she's gorgeous. It is pretty stylish, visionary and usually interesting even though it's not exactly enlightened and gets sleepy here and there."
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Con Air (1997) - 20 Mar 2007
"You know, it's not good, but it is Con Air and you should own a copy just because it's good to have Con Air around. Mostly to do yard work, because that's all it's qualified for."
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Scream Baby Scream (1969) - 28 Mar 2011
"Not quite the worst movie I own on DVD (I can't seem to get rid of my copy of Episode I). Qualitywise, on par with any theatrically released 70's porn film-- minus the sex, of course. It's basically A Bucket of Blood, but without all that pesky "actually a good movie" baggage holding it down."
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Big Fan (2009) - 31 Aug 2010
"Patton Oswalt, a man famous for being witty, smart and confident, knocks it out of the park playing a man who isn't any of those things. Story reminded me of a leaner, darker King of Comedy, which I also loved, but this one is actually better somehow. I'm also a sucker for dirty, angry New York movies, they seem more relatable to me."
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