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Celluloid Junkie - 2761 Film Ratings

Member Since: Jan 20, 2007

Bio: My reviews are a collection of the movies I have seen since 2005. The scores I give mean everything and nothing. Mostly nothing. Unfortunately, I don't have the ability to discern the difference between a '75' and '80', so I just pick numbers at random.

more Recent Ratings

80 75% Moonraker (1979) - Feb 07, 2023
"Many think James Bond was the first person to have sex in space, but if you count hand stuff, then Buzz Aldrin has him beat."
55 30% Live and Let Die (1973) - Feb 06, 2023
"The Blaxploitation Bond. Roger Moore has sex, but he's not as horny as Connery. It's almost like sex is a duty he has to fulfill. I used to really dislike the theme of this film, even before I knew what it was from, but I have grown to love it."
75 64% My Bloody Valentine (1981) - Feb 05, 2023
"Moosehead and Keith's? You're watching the East Coast of Canada, baby. I like that after Halloween, every holiday needed to get its own slasher."
40 18% Diamonds Are Forever (1971) - Feb 05, 2023
"Features two coded gay assassins, which in 1971, is actually considered a good representation."
90 92% On Her Majesty's Secret Service (1969) - Feb 05, 2023
"I can understand why people didn't like this at the time. The thought of Bond getting married would be too much for contemporary audiences. They need him trying to bed a woman named Pussy Galore, and discussing how Chinese girls taste different."
60 36% You Only Live Twice (1967) - Feb 02, 2023
"James Bond goes to Japan and becomes Japanese, and the results are exactly as you'd expect (he makes love Japanese style while wearing yellowface)."
50 26% Thunderball (1965) - Feb 01, 2023
"Damn, James Bond sure was horny. Austin Powers didn't really change much about the character. This film is 130 minutes, and conservatively, 120 of those minutes are spent underwater watching incomprehensible."
90 92% Goldfinger (1964) - Jan 31, 2023
"Over 30 years later, Oddjob would return under the "no Oddjob" rule in N64's Goldeneye. Now I am just disappointed that game never used Oddjob's hat as a weapon."
50 26% Me, Myself & Irene (2000) - Jan 31, 2023
"It's okay, but it also comes complete with the memory of seeing this at a cheap theatre and listening to Sum 41 before seeing it. You can't take away those precious memories. I am rattled by the lack of an oxford comma in the title."
80 75% From Russia with Love (1963) - Jan 31, 2023
"This is a good film, of course, but I love goofy Bond. Sure, it's more about him being a secret agent, but I want him fighting a weird looking dude on a spaceship."