Celluloid Junkie - 2872 Film Ratings
Member Since: 20 Jan 2007
Bio: My reviews are a collection of the movies I have seen since 2005. The scores I give mean everything and nothing. Mostly nothing. Unfortunately, I don't have the ability to discern the difference between a '75' and '80', so I just pick numbers at random.
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|60 T4||Holiday Affair (1949) - 05 Dec 2023
"Sticking Mitchum as one of the love interests in this charming Christmas film feels weird. I grew up with films and TV shows of this era being on, so I never understood why a kid would be so excited by the most basic toys. Didn't they know you could just ask for a video game? I felt bad for Carl, as for a lack of a better word, gets cucked."
|65 T5||The Aviator (2004) - 05 Dec 2023
"It's Scorsese, so it's good and entertaining, but it never becomes a great film. Every time the Spruce Moose was mentioned, I could not help but think of the Simpsons episode. Also, when I saw those pee bottles, I also thought, "but what about other types of, uh, waste?""
|90 T10||May December (2023) - 03 Dec 2023
"The sheer absurdity that an actor from Riverdale was able to do this. And, not even the original actor for the character! I suffered through probably five seasons of that show, and never once did I see an actor and think, "they will be nominated for an Academy Award some day". I am glad I was wrong."
|60 T4||While You Were Sleeping (1995) - 02 Dec 2023
"This is such a charming romcom that its central plot of a woman lying about the man in a coma being her fiancee and then falling in love with his brother is handled so casually. Sandra Bullock is an ugly woman that no one wants. We know this because she has hot dogs everyday for lunch, and she wears big comfy sweaters. Luckily, the sexy blue-collar man sees through this, and can love her for her soul. And because she's Sandra Bullock."
|80 T8||The Killer (2023) - 26 Nov 2023
"The film opens with the protagonist's fifteen-minute monologue that tells you everything about his meticulous nature, but tells you nothing about his emotional mindset. No, Fincher leaves that to Smiths. Just scatters snippets of lyrics like little clues. If I was in this film, you'd only hear the faint sounds of "keep rollin', rollin', rollin', rollin', what?" Oh man, he's so mysterious!"
|80 T8||The Fugitive (1993) - 19 Nov 2023
"A lot of things happen in this film, and it's a great thriller. However, why is everyone ignoring the rollerblading nurse? I had to rewind the first time, because we didn't see his feet, but it appeared as though he were rollerblading. Then, a few minutes later, he's back and there's a clear shot of the rollerblades. It took me out of the film. Also, if I were going to get someone to commit a crime on my behalf, I would get someone less recognizable than a one-armed man."
|70 T6||Grand Hotel (1932) - 12 Nov 2023
"A film set in 1932 Berlin? Well, luckily, there's no huge historical events that will transpire in the next year that will make watching this film strange. I can't believe it took until 1932 for someone to think, "how about we overload this film with big stars!" This is the film to thank for getting to see "Valentine's Day". This is charming and warm enough for its runtime."
|90 T10||High and Low (1963) - 12 Nov 2023
"This is Parasite mixed with Zodiac. Those happen to be two of my favourite films, so if you mix them together and add Kurosawa, now you're cooking."
|40 T2||Shattered (1991) - 12 Nov 2023
"This film is insane. I love the twist, but it's also one of ten things that happen that make you think, "wait, what?" For as much as Tom Bergenger does not work for me in this, Bob Hoskins picks up all that slack. When people complain about what the MCU has taken from us, this is the type of the film they are talking about."
|90 T10||Elephant (2003) - 12 Nov 2023
"I watched this as a teen, and really disliked because it was boring. I still think I was correct, but now I like this film! It achieves a state of boredom and mundanity, because it's a snapshot of a regular day in these people's lives. The horror of this film, which after an hour of narrative circling finally comes, is the banality of evil. Van Sant does offer some explanations, but he doesn't commit to any of them. These are just two kids. That's it."