Celluloid Junkie - 2529 Film Ratings
Member Since: Jan 20, 2007
Bio: My reviews are a collection of the movies I have seen since 2005. The scores I give mean everything and nothing. Mostly nothing. Unfortunately, I don't have the ability to discern the difference between a '75' and '80', so I just pick numbers at random.
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|70 53%||Gloria (1980) - Jan 23, 2022
"Gena Rowlands is so, so good. How did she only win an Honourary Academy Award? I am retroactively giving her the Best Actress award for each year she acted in a film. It's only fair."
|95 96%||A Serious Man (2009) - Jan 23, 2022
"An absolute masterpiece. One of those films that is difficult to discuss in a review without spending multiple paragraphs. Subscribe to my Patreon for $5 a month and you'll get an essay on what Richard Kind's cyst actually means. "
|75 65%||Nobody (2021) - Jan 22, 2022
"Didn't realize how badly I needed Bob Odenkirk as John Wick. If you would have told me 15 years ago that a Mr. Show cast member was going to star in an action-thriller in 2021, I would have guessed Brian Posehn. The only major issue with this film is that it riled me up and I couldn't stop doing kung-fu moves for hours."
|90 92%||The Killing (1956) - Jan 17, 2022
"Just once I'd like to see a heist film go according to plan. Most of the dudes are real wife guys. The ending is a chef's kiss."
|60 36%||The Matrix Resurrections (2021) - Jan 15, 2022
"Neo needs to get his mojo back. Yeah, baby, yeah! Did we need a 4th Matrix film? No. Did I enjoy this more than the 3rd film? Yes. Will I ever watch this again? No. Did I enjoy how I spent my Saturday afternoon? Yes. Do I need to write ten paragraphs on what this film means? No. I already graduated university, I don't need to go back."
|85 85%||The Tragedy of Macbeth (2021) - Jan 15, 2022
"The hardest part of this is that it doesn't have the footnotes explaining what they are saying. I should have been able to pause the film, and have an 80-year old scholar mumbling what the "tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow" soliloquy means."
|70 53%||Suspicion (1941) - Jan 13, 2022
"If you're as a hot as Cary Grant, you can get away with a lot. Dude doesn't even wait until the day is over before selling his new wife's priceless family heirlooms. "
|60 36%||Father of the Bride (1950) - Jan 10, 2022
"They didn't change much for the Steve Martin version. Luckily, he only had to spend $85 on an orchestra. That's a steal. Wait, what are you trying to tell me about inflation?"
|40 19%||The Bonfire of the Vanities (1990) - Jan 09, 2022
"Satire with a capital-S, in the sense that every scene has a blinking Satire sign at the bottom of the screen. Every character just says the obvious, without any subtlety. Morgan Freeman lectures the courtroom, and the audience, at the end of the film in case you missed the message. I assume they cast Tom Hanks to play against type, but he's still too likeable. It also feels weird to see him feeling up Griffith. That's not the Hanks I love :(."
|50 27%||Poison Ivy (1992) - Jan 09, 2022
"Wait, how old was Drew Barrymore when she was having her sex scenes with Tom Skerritt? The main character is nicknamed Ivy, and she's bad, so she's Poison Ivy. Now you don't have to spend the entire film wondering about the title like I did."