Celluloid Junkie - 3054 Film Ratings
Member Since: 15 Nov 2011
Location: Sweden
TCI: not enough ratings
Films in Common: 0
Not in Your Top 1000 TCIs
Bio: Very rough scale:
1-10 Unbelievably bad; possibly wonderful.
11-20: Avoid at all cost.
21-40: Just... nah, don't bother.
41-50: Flawed but watchable.
51-60: Decent. Not ashamed to have seen.
61-70: Good stuff.
71-80: Hello, this is fun.
81-90: I loved this.
91-100: Objectively perfect.

more Featured Reviews

51 26% Prometheus Prometheus (2012) - 06 Jun 2012
"Scott's best movie in years, which sadly isn't saying much. As a horror/thriller it works, despite some odd pacing and editing, and Rapace and Fassbender are great. But Scott also wants to make a new 2001 and doesn't know how; the bits that aren't borrowed from Alien turn into a confused, inconsistent mess of von Däniken's ancient astronauts and "science can't explain!" twaddle that makes me imagine a South Park-style "THIS IS WHAT RIDLEY SCOTT ACTUALLY BELIEVES" subtitle for half the movie."
0% The Time Machine (I Found at a Yardsale) The Time Machine (I Found at a Yardsale) (2011) - 15 Jul 2016
"Greenscreen for everything! Inaudible dialogue! Not one single establishing shot! No script! No action! The absolute opposite of acting! The worst CGI effects since the early 80s! A TWO-MINUTE SCENE where our hero drinks orange juice! This movie will make you long for the movie-making magic of "Birdemic"."
40 14% Decay Decay (2012) - 15 Dec 2012
"Made by CERN PHD students for $2000, this is amateur hour - not as bad as "Birdemic", but still. But it's lots of vicarious fun. These guys get to chase zombies in the tunnels of the most expensive scientific installation on earth, spouting deliberately ridiculous technobabble about how the LHC will destroy the world. You don't, but you get to watch and go "Golly, that looks fun." And 50 years from now, when they win Nobel Prize, you can proudly say "Eh, I prefer their earlier work.""
97 99% House House (1977) - 28 Jan 2012
"This is, quite simply, the best film I've seen in my entire life. An utterly deranged ghost story about seven young schoolgirls who go to visit a haunted house owned by an aunt of one of the girls, and... let's just say wackiness ensues. Boy oh boy oh boy, does it ensue. Watch this. Thank me later."
85 92% The Irishman The Irishman (2019) - 08 Dec 2019
"You go in thinking meh, it's a mob movie, Scorsese's done them before and he'll do them again. You come out thinking anyone who ever does a mob movie after this is a complete fraud. Where his other movies may have played it for glory and tragedy, this is just... so bleak. Scorsese looks back at an entire American century, paints it with all the colours you expect from a Scorsese mob movie, and then goes "OK, boomer.""
84 91% Godzilla Godzilla (1954) - 23 May 2015
"Yes, the special effects haven't aged well. Like you're gonna? The original is still brilliantly straight-faced, painting firestorms, nuclear destruction and the death of hope itself like... well, just consider the fact that everyone who made this movie had just lost a war less than ten years earlier, and not in a pretty way. This movie will traumatize you if you let it. But by all means, keep laughing at the guy working his ass off in a 100-kg rubber suit."
80 83% Deadpool Deadpool (2016) - 16 Feb 2016
"Fuckin' A. Fuck 2.5-hour origin stories. Fuck "who watches the watchmen". Fuck grade-school Nietzscheisms. Fuck angsting about using your powers. Fuck continuity. Fuck exposition. Fuck loners learning to be a team. Fuck spin-offs. Fuck politics. Fuck contrived misunderstandings. Fuck digital filters that make everything look grey. Fuck dark worlds. Fuck alternate universes. Fuck reboots. Fuck the X-Men. Fuck the MCU. Fuck DC. And fuck Deadpool while you're at it, but you'll have to get in line."
71 62% Tag Tag (2015) - 15 Apr 2016
"I'm not saying ALL movies should start with a bus full of Japanese schoolgirls pillowfighting and then getting gorily bisected, only to turn into a surreal existentialist drama that slices... sorry, picks apart the very tropes that makes that sound intriguing. I'm not saying that at all. I'm just saying, the world would be better if they did."
88 95% Force Majeure Force Majeure (2014) - 06 Jan 2015
"Scenes From A Marriage 2: Snowroller."
38 12% Terminator Genisys Terminator Genisys (2015) - 20 Oct 2015
"Terminator: Phil Collins was made by three separate crews working in triple shifts, with little to no communication between them. One shot a straight remake of The Terminator, one shot an increasingly out-of-ideas Terminator 5, and one just tried to do the most confusing Doctor Who episode in years."