EastonD
Film Freak
Member Since: 25 Oct 2008
Location: Reseda, CA, USA
Recent Ratings
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Frequency (2000) - Rated 26 May 2025
"Jesus Christ and Ronald Reagan use a ham radio powered by the aurora borealis to change the past until they get their perfect present (at least for them, who knows what else they changed. Maybe the original timeline had no 9/11. Thanks a lot fellas). Don’t concern yourself with logic of any kind and just enjoy the ride."
Tango & Cash (1989) - Rated 30 Apr 2025
"even if I had a gun pointed at my head (aka what it felt like watching tango and cash) I don’t think I could answer with any kind of confidence which one was tango and which one was cash. tango is under stallone on the poster…tango does sound Italian too. I know stallone is italian but was he Italian in tango and cash? I don’t remember. all I do remember is they took a naked shower together, rain ziplining and a confused jack parlance saying tango and cash. tango and cash. is my brain ok :("
Saving Mr. Banks (2013) - Rated 24 Apr 2025
"this deffo has a touch of the walt goebbels spin and it’s a shameless saccharine heart string tugger but I was still a blubbering mess all the same. my poor T levels. emma thompson was stone cold steve austin in 1998 good and hanks as disney didn’t entirely walk on water so that’s a plus."
The Long Kiss Goodnight (1996) - Rated 22 Apr 2025
"it was the shane black of times, it was the renny harlin of times. how could they feed such delectable velvety caramel prose to a man with no mouth? no wonder it took a decade for mr. black to re-emerge, he needed to relearn to write after the finnish blight."
Captain Ron (1992) - Rated 22 Apr 2025
"Who made this man a captain?"
Phone Booth (2003) - Rated 22 Apr 2025
"how did callin farrell not immediately ejaculate when jack bauer’s amorous throat tones wafted carefree into his waiting ear hole? I expected more from you mr schumacher"
Cliffhanger (1993) - Rated 21 Apr 2025
"baffling how harlin can get handed all the ingredients to cook something at least somewhat edible (sly, rock climbing, british lithgow, air heists, helicopters, michael the rooker) and yet he always brews a shit stew. a jumbled, heinous near unwatchable dickless mess."
Tombstone (1993) - Rated 05 Apr 2025
"immediately rewatched after hearing of Val’s passing…his performance really is an all timer. Delicious, he’s slicker than cum on a gold tooth. Film still has its problems but how can you argue with skinning smoke wagons, head canoes and Powers BOOTHE. I want to live in his mustache. so many rideable mustaches. greatest cast ever - they even had…you guessed it frank stallone. So many lines from tombstone are part of my daily parlance. You may go now, Johnny Ringo! Well….bye. lovely stuff."
Unlawful Entry (1992) - Rated 23 Mar 2025
"ray liotta’s thirsty and needs a hot cup of stowe. an exceptional performance from liotta and his eyes, he just oozes deranged desperate menace. Kurt russell as limp joe everyman who eventually rises to the occasion is also stellar and was a necessary change - when he goes action jackson in the nineties it’s mostly trash (save earp and Captain Ron of course). movies like this should be prescribed monthly. It’s no home run but sometimes you just need a good ground rule double."
Conclave (2024) - Rated 16 Mar 2025
"Lawrence was just a few days away from retirement until one night…the pope died! now Lawrence has to put on his papal duds one last time so he can help find the right….man for the job. Many obstacles will get in his path, from on high and low, but he’ll prevail because it’s the Vatican and not the Vatican’t. Ralph Fiennes in CONCLAVE!"
