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0 film ratings

Velvet Crowe

velvet_crowe width="77" height="120"

Cinema Addict - 2479 Film Ratings

Member Since: Jun 3, 2010

Location: Edmonton, Alberta, Canada

Age: 30

Bio: Former journalist, invested in humanities, fitness, and weed.

Subtlety is overrated.

Discord Server: https://discord.gg/HUnyvT

more Recent Ratings

80 90% Pepsi, Where's My Jet? (2022) - Dec 01, 2022
"Fun and stylish documentary which paints a weirdly wholesome story despite the blatant corruption we see from Pepsi. The story mainly focuses on the balls these guys had to even challenge Pepsi to begin with and the friendship that came along with that, but because of this it never discusses or questions the legal validity of Pepsi's victory and instead just assumes (with a degree of validity, admittedly) that it can be summed up as Pepsi just being corrupt. He still deserved that jet though!"
72 78% Chopped (2007) - Nov 29, 2022
"What I like about this show is that it displays a lot of different ways people can make dishes out of random ingredients which is a testament to just how broad the culinary arts are. Granted, the standards that the judges run on aren't coherent and I'm never really certain as to what exactly is supposed to be the perfect dish by their standards, there is at least an attempt to clarify why a dish failed."
45 45% Godzilla vs. Kong (2021) - Nov 27, 2022
"Mostly boring with a few decentish monster fights. I dunno why they insist on all of this non-sense technobabble and garbage worldbuilding when the core appeal of this movie is the main fight, which they decided to cop out on by bringing in a really lame version of MechaGodzilla. Godzilla can work with a focus on the human drama as conveyed in the original Godzilla film itself, but when they just go through the motions of bad comedy and stereotypes relying on eyerolling dialog it's hard to care."
52 53% Red Scorpion (1989) - Nov 02, 2022
"The first half has solid one liners and fun character chemistry supplied with simple but solid action scenes. The second half is this boring attempt to redeem Dolph's character through some lame spiritual journey which wasn't necessary to begin with because they had already established solid enough context for his betrayal at the start of the film and all of a sudden the personality of the film is gone. By that point, I lost all investment in the final act which itself did nothing to engage me."
53 54% The Witches (1990) - Oct 20, 2022
"The child actors were pretty shit but the adult actors were boasting enough flair and personality to at least not be boring. However, the film's setpieces are mostly lame and I ended up ultimately caring more about the goofball witches than the lame children. Though this is a movie that is pretty easy to make fun of for some of its oddball writing decisions, like how the kids don't seem phased about becoming mice or how it implies you shouldn't trust old women."
50 51% Werewolf by Night (2022) - Oct 16, 2022
"Ignoring the fact that hunters with decades of experience make absurdly dumb decisions that they shouldn't, this was kind of just boring? They shove in a lot of concepts that have little time to be explored and the way they shoved Elsa into this heroic role was eyerolling to say the least. The visual style was also not particularly good? The black and white filter came across as lazy and even made some scenes hard to read at times with the werewolf aesthetic looking god awful."
54 55% She-Hulk: Attorney At Law (2022) - Oct 16, 2022
"I'm actually a big fan of the She-Hulk comics and this show does not get what made those comics work. To its credit, the show has some solid chops when it's tackling Jen's self-identity which is elevated by the therapy episode and the side characters can be amusing. Where this fails me is that they have no idea how to properly utilise the 4th wall and they frequently use a very moronic interpretation of "internet trolls" which combined make one of the worst endings in MCU history."
57 60% Tôkyô zankoku keisatsu (2008) - Oct 15, 2022
"I dig it for the outlandish ways it displays gore and it has a fair number of cheesy scenes that gave me a chuckle. But the film also has really boring fight scenes that are awkwardly shot with a script that's more asinine than amusing. It might have been helped if the cast were a lot more entertaining, but beyond the crazy aesthetic everyone is a boring caricacture with the charisma of dry paint. Props to the guy with the giant flesh penis though, that was rad."
33 27% Hocus Pocus 2 (2022) - Oct 02, 2022
"I mean, I give the three ladies props for being able to come back to these roles 30 years later somehow looking exactly the same as they did back in the day. On the other hand, I can't forgive this movie for having such a boring lead cast and being generally bland from beginning to end."
68 72% The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari (1920) - Sep 11, 2022
"Dr. Caligari is interesting in that it's a film that benefits from its era. The lack of voices and modern technology give much more life to the mise en scene and the general surreal vibe it gives. However, it's also light in terms of narrative and I feel its attempts at conveying madness come up short when its surreal visualization was more engaging. I wish the movie was more focused at conveying something otherworldly than try to convey delusion, as that's mainly what struck me with this film."