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Velvet Crowe
velvet_crowe
Celluloid Junkie
# Film Ratings: 3159
# Game Ratings: 1204
Member Since: 03 Jun 2010
Location: Edmonton, Alberta, Canada
Age: 33
Bio: Former journalist, invested in humanities, fitness, and consuming garbage. Probably one of the few Criticker users who actually read comics and plays competitive video games. Subtlety is overrated. https://www.goodreads.com/user/show/176986912-drew https://twitter.com/DrewStr56396515
Recent Ratings
87 96%
Wittgenstein Plays Chess with Marcel Duchamp, or How Not to Do Philosophy (2020) - Rated 05 May 2026
This is such a cool interpretation of Wittgenstein's philosophy, what may seem like incongruous visuals and narration is actually in service to Wittgenstein's idea of how our understanding of reality is functioning off of perception. In other words, what is familiar to us defines our perception and the old framed in a new way can present to us a new experience, much of the visual language here is playing into that and the specific visuals presented here can be loaded with different meaning.
88 97%
Adaptation. (2002) - Rated 04 May 2026
What I love about this is how complex the framing is. Just one aspect of this would suffice for a full film, but juxtaposing Laroche's character to Kaufman's makes this so much richer. Laroche being characterized as a redneck simpleton to mask a more complex person hits so well with its context about how real life inspires creative output. I just wish it leaned more on the story of the creative and didn't push into bombastic plotting, but there's so many fascinating layers of this that I love.
44 38%
A Serbian Film (2010) - Rated 03 May 2026
I commend something like this that pushes the audience into uncomfortable territory but I can't take its conceit seriously. It has a wacky view of what the depravity of the porn industry is. There is violent cruelty in it but gore porn is generally not what the exploited suffer, and you know for a guy who's been at it for years they could have played with the mundane minutia more. It feels disingenuous in a way to justify its shock value and I came off of this amused more than disturbed.
47 44%
The Prowler (1981) - Rated 03 May 2026
It's technically competent but so uninspired and bland I was mostly bored with this. Only notable thing I can think of is how noticeably cliche the music choices are that it got funny at times. A pitchfork is an inspired murder weapon but its use is so limited they could have replaced it with literally anything else and scenes wouldn't play out differently. It's pretty funny how much weight they try to put on the reveal of the killer, because he was such a non-presence I just felt apathy.
56 56%
Hulk Hogan: Real American (2026) - Rated 27 Apr 2026
Hogan is a notorious liar yet this documentary takes everything he says at face value. But to give it some fairness, they at least do use other sources to verify certain claims so there's at least some new here. Granted, the documentary in general is light on Hogan, they leave out a lot of details and generally focus on his star power and personal insights. Maybe fine if that's what you're looking for, but so much of this feels so disingenuous that I struggle to take it seriously.
78 86%
Malcolm In The Middle: Life's Still Unfair (2026) - Rated 27 Apr 2026
I feel people come at this with the wrong perspective. Life's Still Unfair is not depriving itself from the comedy that made it popular but its intent is less on its episodic roots and moreso interrogating its premise and conceit. But given its reception, I feel most watched this wanting to reconnect with the family but it ends up being a bit polarizing when its priorities aren't within the original realm of the series. Most people who like this... - Full Review
67 69%
1001 Nights (1998) - Rated 21 Apr 2026
Amano's art is iconic but this is the rare case of an animated work giving motion to his aesthetic. It's really more of an expression of that aesthetic than anything so the narrative is kind of a nothing burger, but I do think what makes this visually interesting is that it's deliberate in how it makes colors move to change and express tone in its narrative. I can't imagine a Final Fantasy title looking like this and capturing the tone of any of them properly, but this is decently cool.
62 63%
Zlaté kapradí (1963) - Rated 11 Apr 2026
I liked the ephemeral vibe but I kinda wasn't interested in anything this was doing narratively. Felt like it was taking the point of "man likes the natural being at odds with society" and just not really dwelling on it beyond its basic conceit, but I do think it at least hit a strong climax and I'd go so far as the ending scene salvaging what this is for me. Honestly I might like this more if I ever decide to rewatch it again.
70 72%
Ramayana: The Legend of Prince Rama (1992) - Rated 08 Apr 2026
I tend to think that it's impossible to do an accurate adaptation of the Ramayana because it's near impossible to convey its philosophy and grander mythological context within the time frame of a film or to properly convey on a screen in general. But I think this at least hits the simplistic plot beats of the epic. It leaves out a lot, but I generally think the stuff it does cover is cool even if its animation and style is kinda stiff and simplistic. The climatic battle is at least solid.
78 86%
16 Vayathinile (1977) - Rated 08 Apr 2026
Takes time to land on anything but I think it's effective on how rural life can feel so limiting. Even the low-budget filming of this gives off this vibe; its cheapness actually elevates this conceit. But I also like that there's a sense of shared expectations given to people in these communities not just from those within but also by outsiders who see these people as accessories, yet it still shows how we achieve sincere relationships despite it all.