Velvet Crowe
Bio: Former journalist, invested in humanities, fitness, and consuming garbage.
Subtlety is overrated.
https://www.goodreads.com/user/show/176986912-drew
https://twitter.com/DrewStr56396515
Recent Ratings
Check out Velvet Crowe's...
| 88 97% | The Third Man (1949) - Rated 26 Jul 2024
"This movie wins me over just on its style alone. The final chase scene is technically marvelous to look at. Everything just works together be it the music, performances, dialog, etc in just oozing style and charisma and the neat twists it plays with regarding the crimes committed are pretty cool. Admittedly the investigation itself can be uneventful but I thought the way it played with humanist themes and how it's all covered by its mood managed to consistently maintain my interest."
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| 15 8% | Fist Fight (2017) - Rated 24 Jul 2024
"Painfully unfunny movie whose conceit wants to paint a critical picture of school funding but has no idea what underfunded schools are actually like and instead defaults to hyperbolic high school stereotypes that aren't the least bit believable. Yes, comedies don't have to be realistic but when you're pulling the same tepid adult comedy jokes all the goddamn time and try to make a flaccid critique in a wave of unearnest jokes and characterization it falls flat and comes off manufactured."
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| 45 44% | DC Showcase: Kamandi: The Last Boy on Earth! (2021) - Rated 23 Jul 2024
"Kamandi is this bizarre thing that was never that huge of a deal but for some reason DC INSISTED on trying to keep him within the DC universe in spite of how little the character and its setting benefitted from that. Outside the original Kirby run, not much of value was gained from using him and the same is true here. Very much a nothing short that just apes the one story that connected the character to DC in very boring fashion before landing a cliffhanger that will eventually go nowhere."
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| 74 81% | But I'm a Cheerleader (2000) - Rated 21 Jul 2024
"The movie runs on a conceit of gay people being stereotypes but I think that works in its favour because it's a satire of that very perception and how it defines our self-identity. The movie is very good when it's lampshading the ridiculousness of homophobia especially in its charming surrealist style . Unfortunately I think the movie lacks much in emotional resonance towards the drama and romance it partakes in, embracing trite cliches with no bite and being limp on gay conversion in general."
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| 40 37% | Justice League: Crisis on Infinite Earths, Part Three (2024) - Rated 21 Jul 2024
"Absolutely HATE the dumb shit this movie does for the sake of shock value and the incredibly lame justification they have for the multiverse and conflict in general. And god, the general writing is cringe inducing. Often times characters just chime in just so the movie can justify them being there rather than give them any real importance towards anything. And the asspull twist ending just made me roll my eyes to the back of my head, jfc."
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| 45 44% | Justice League: Crisis on Infinite Earths - Part Two (2024) - Rated 18 Jul 2024
"Only good hook for this movie is the relationship between Kara and the Monitor but they manage to blunder that with nauseatingly stupid twists and just like... not even caring about that dynamic beyond it being a plot beat. Outside of that are weird references to shit that has no real grounding in this setting and this really lame scheme being played out with by Psycho-Pirate whose main appeal is totally lost in this flick. And man, the small scale conflicts just made me cringe..."
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| 47 46% | Justice League: Crisis on Infinite Earths - Part One (2024) - Rated 17 Jul 2024
"The animation here is stiff and I couldn't help but roll my eyes at the way they used its multiverse. This movie is moreso aping the New 52 than the original Crisis storyline and as someone who didn't like the New 52 much I can say this movie handles that even worse where characterization comes off as flanderization and the dialog could be so painfully cringey at times. The emotional cudgel leans on Flash way too much when this is an event encompassing so many different characters."
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| 48 47% | A Whisker Away (2020) - Rated 13 Jul 2024
"Apes Makoto Shinkai but without anywhere near as much directorial talent but equally as vapid at storytelling. The movie relies on contrived non-sense that often relies on characterization flip flopping to suit the needs of the plot. The most egregious example of this is Kinako who is given a motivation in conflict with the leads and just... out of nowhere changes her mind? I also didn't care much for the sappy romantic leaning when the dichotomy of cat and humanity was a better hook."
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| 65 68% | 1984 (1984) - Rated 10 Jul 2024
"1984 is a vapid book that has both a superficial and hyperbolic perception of what a totalitarian government is, perpetuating the idea they push arbitrary anti-intellectualism for no discernable reason other than they're EVIL. Corrupt power is not interesting when the narrative cares more about the what than the why, especially since the what has no coherent purpose. The movie can't escape these issuses, but as an adaption there is some incredibly directed scenes that make this respectable."
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| 33 26% | Interstellar (2014) - Rated 09 Jul 2024
"I struggle to think of much I like about this film. The final stretch is conceptually interesting but they take possibly the lamest approach imaginable with such a cool concept. The "twist" on what the ghost was had me rolling my eyes to the back of my head. Everything leading up to that point didn't enthrall me either. A lot of writing that thinks it's more intelligent than it is, the one-note bland characterization, the miniscule worldbuilding. I don't even think it was visually interesting."
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