Andyviews

Bio: I'm really arbitrary when it comes to reviewing movies because I'm not a serious movie goer. Like I'm not some guy who jerks off to obscure art house movies to paint myself as some intellectual: movies are just a past time like TV or some other stupid bull crap. Any way if you are reading this and not already dead I love you.

Recent Ratings

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50 _42%

Tomatos Another Day (1930) - Rated 17 Aug 2014

This film damages more hats than the Great Hat-Factory fire of 1909. But whatever it's alright

75 _53%

Elephant (2003) - Rated 17 Aug 2014

It was alright. Nice camera tricks, it's just that teenagers are so fucking boring holy fucking shit

100 _96%

Steel (1997) - Rated 17 Aug 2014

Shaq as John Henry Irons is simply the greatest superhero performance I have ever seen or will see. In a age where our superheros kill thousands and destroy cities, hearing a hero say "Not killing the enemy? Yes ma'am I do like that" is such a breath of fresh air. It also has a boy say "CASH RULES EVERYTHING AROUND ME CREAM GET THE MONEY DOLLA DOLLA BILL Y'ALL" Does TDK have that? I don't even think that idiot Nolan has listened to the Wu Tang Clan. Fuck Nolan

0 _11%

Tokyo Godfathers (2003) - Rated 17 Aug 2014

A racist, transphobic, fat-shaming, sappy-story-driven-by-bullshit-coincidences crap pile that takes advantage of societies poorest members to make a horrible Christmas story. I loved it. 5 out of 5 will watch during Christmas time if I don't feel like watching any of the other Christmas movies. Oh wait, Die Hard is much better and is the only Christmas movie you need to see.

25 _27%

The Matrix Revolutions (2003) - Rated 11 Aug 2014

Jesus you wouldn't expect me to be bored as a army of robo-squids fight mechwarriors or the beta version of the Man of Steel fight but it does. God what shit.

5 _24%

In the Name of the King III (2014) - Rated 07 Aug 2014

It gets 5 bonus points since me and my pa watched this collection of moving shitty pictures together. Love ya old man

48 _35%

Noah (2014) - Rated 07 Aug 2014

While it looked pretty, it was just a bore. I don't think God destroyed the world in the Abrahamic tradition because we cut down trees and shit. And Noah turns into a pretentious teenager who thinks he's hot shit because he thinks "humanity is full of scum man yeah man just let us all wipe out and leave the earth to the animals man humans ain't done nothing to improve the planet" Give me a fucking break you misanthropic cunt

80 _61%

Edge of Tomorrow (2014) - Rated 07 Aug 2014

Pretty fun. Nice action, some funny humour. My only REAL complaint is that it's based off of some Japanese Light Novel and that LN has the best title in the world. I am shocked and disgusted that they changed "All You Need Is Kill" to "Edge of Tomorrow" The first one is simply the best. God bless the Japanese and their poor understanding of English

93 _90%

The Grand Budapest Hotel (2014) - Rated 07 Aug 2014

Loved the shit out of this. God bless you Wessie

80 _61%

Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan (1982) - Rated 13 Jul 2014

Christ the rack on Montalban is simply amazing