hellsditch's Profile

76 _41%

Halloween Ends (2022) - Rated 13 Oct 2023

Best of the Green bunch. Yup. It sure fails as a series ender. It fails if you're looking for dozens of "bad ass" Myers kills (as if this is what made the first one so special). It's too much of a left turn too late in the game. And YET...it had style and was the only tonally consistent movie of the three. GREAT opening sequence, too. Maybe the best sequence in the series. I wish this was the FIRST of the Green movies not the last. Respect the big swing even if it didn't totally connect.

65 _12%

Halloween Kills (2021) - Rated 13 Oct 2023

So a 6-year-old kills his sister, returns to kill 3 other teens and a mechanic 25 years later. He's locked up for 40 years. He escapes. The survivors learn this at a (checks notes) Halloween night...talent show? Tommy Wallace's talent is exposition drops for tweens? Within minutes the town has lots its goddamned mind. Green disowns all the sequels but sure does reference them a bunch and leans on horror fans' collective memories of them. Another confused mess. STOOPID but thinks its profound.

68 _18%

Halloween (2018) - Rated 13 Oct 2023

Back to basics! Remember when Myers stomped a dude's head into oatmeal in '78? Yes, that classic Carpenter formula of extreme gore and suspenseful scenes immediately undercut by bad comedy. David Gordon Green is a highly confused individual and I don't understand what he was trying to do here. Dude got to do ANYTHING -- totally green field -- and did...this. The original = Evil's out there! It's everywhere! Oh wait, actually no... Evil got arrested on the sidewalk 5 minutes later. Kewl.

78 _50%

Love Actually (2003) - Rated 10 Aug 2020

Better than David Lynch's entire career. That INCLUDES his forays into coffee-making.

85 _85%

Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016) - Rated 20 Dec 2016

Me going in: "I know what I want Star Wars to be (fast, fun, a hint of darkness) and this isn't going to be that." And while Edwards trades in the popcorny thrills of Ep. 7 for something more solemn and adult, about halfway through I found myself REALLY invested in this story and these characters despite their lack of definition (understandable given, well...you know). The finale, while yet ANOTHER variant on the "Jedi" formula, is suitably epic & genuinely moving - one of the series' best.

85 _85%

Sing Street (2016) - Rated 13 Oct 2016

F-U-N!

60 _5%

Zoolander 2 (2016) - Rated 17 Sep 2016

I've seen so much terrible shit in half-awake states over the last four months. Collectively they exist as a homogeneous slurry of suck -- fragmental, fever-dream apparitions. It takes quite a bit to stand out from the drek, but this...THIS. JEEZUS CHRIST. So fucking bad. Zero laughs. A huge miscalculation by a fast-tracking-to-irrelevancy Ben Stiller. Stick to the "serious actor" roles in Noah Baumbach films, Ben. This slapsticky rehashes of the early '00s greatest hits isn't working.

77 _45%

Creed (2015) - Rated 12 Apr 2016

Started strong but completely stalled out halfway in. It seemed like they were eventually going to develop and expand on the Adonis character, only that never actually happened. For me, he never moves past the "guy with abandonment issues who wants to make his own way" trope. I mean, it's not like Apollo even abandoned him -- he got freaking beat to death. I would have liked this so much more if there was ANY quirk or foible that added even a perfunctory second dimension to his personality.

73 _27%

The Age of Adaline (2015) - Rated 12 Apr 2016

Man, I don't know how to rank this. This thing is just not meant for someone like me. 'Twas interesting seeing Harrison Ford in a non-genre or action pic, though, I'll say that. Last time I saw him in such a role you'd probably have to go back to "Working Girl". He definitely seems to "care" more about his performance in this type of movie, even if he really shouldn't bother.

75 _36%

Zoolander (2001) - Rated 20 Mar 2016

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