Merlin

Ambitious and captivating take on the Arthurian legend that puts Merlin front and center. Has a stellar cast, all of whom seem to be having a great time, and the Hallmark-ness of the production is thankfully kept to a minimum.

After perusing at all the rave reviews this movie received, I'm still trying to find out if I watched the right "Merlin". The one I suffered through was chock full of a-list actors blundering about a script that was on par with a public-access channel used-car dealership commercial. Starring Rutger Hauer, the only king in British history to have an American accent, a lisp-tastic (wisp-tastic?) Helena Bonham Carter, Martin Short doing his best Chinaman impression, and James Earl Jones as a rock.

Nice and tidy little made-for-TV fantasy, with fun spot-the-star casting in the supporting roles

The full-length, mini-series version of this is the one that can't be missed, and so my rating applies towards that. Deduct ten points for the regular movie. Great performances and a mythic atmosphere make this worth the watch.

Top badass moment? Deep thinker Merlin tries to be a do-gooder with a bit of heavy-handed social engineering, but buggers it up. Meanwhile, his pretty but totally vain airhead of a girlfriend waits for him for most of her life, isolated in a mud hut, with nothing but a few woodland animals for company, yet seems unaffected by her experience when he does finally show up. I can only imagine the shit she'll give him for getting home late once they're inside. 1 cat, no chainsaws or decapitations.

Despite cheesy-ass special effects the film (the two-episode miniseries, whatever) is pretty interesting as a sort of Cliff Notes trip through enough Arthurian legend mythology spanning decades of story to make at least half a dozen feature length films out of in just three lightning-paced hours. Whether or not such a thing does anything for you is probably dependent entirely on how interested you are in King Arthur/Merlin/Camelot/etc. It kept me interested.

Merlin

Oh man

Really hard to beat Neil’s grumpy Merlin. The only thing that comes close so far is The Sword in the Stone animated Merlin, and only then because of the delightful squirrel incident. Merlin’s got more enraging tragic flaws Kevin from Wonder Years. Tricksy Queen Mab is one of the most memorable characters of all time. You may start loudly life coaching the characters through the screen. It’s one of those.

It's not good, but it was my childhood.