Mega Piranha

I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched C-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhauser gate. I sat dumbfounded while a CGI piranha ate a goddamn helicopter. All those moments will be lost in time... like tears in rain... Time for another drink.

Props for being the only movie featuring exploding, badly rendered giant piranhas and more title cards than characters. For a movie that defies all logic at almost every turn, I'm surprised the piranhas didn't start talking halfway through. Such a disappointment.

Makes every other significant moment in your life look like dogshit.

This is the best movie ever made. The special effects are hilarious as hell. And for the main lead they casted a man with the deepest voice ever, tightest muscles ever, and with the talent of having no talent at all. What I also found amazing was, when 'Fitch' (better call him Bitch) was diving in the river, he saw coral reef! AMAZING. This movie is beyond awesomeness and has started my big love for shitty Giant Monster movies

A school of giant piranhas attack the US (because if you're a fish, clearly the first thing on your mind is to attack the US). It's not like I was expecting it to be good, but at least I expected it to be fun. Plus, for a movie about mega piranhas, it seems to think that the worst threat to America is the Venezuelan army: five guys with silly mustaches in a helicopter.

add 30 points if you think that giant, flying, exploding piranhas are awesome.

Pro.

Best CGI ever!

On the sliding scale of these cut-rate disaster movies, this is one of the better ones; leaning more completely into the inherent silliness and absurdity of its premise (beating SHARKNADO’s ocean/air attack conceit by a few years), this is silly, trashy fun - objectively garbage in normal money, but something of a highlight in its subgenre. Logan’s comical battles with the titular animals must be seen to be believed (especially the knife fight underwater (!!) and kicking back on the pier (!!)).

# oh god I love awful dumb movies.