Full House

This show will give you diabetes in 30 seconds or less.

One time, in college, I got so broke and thirsty and out of groceries that I drank a bottle of Torani cherry syrup straight up. It tasted nothing like cherries; the overpowering, fake sickly-sweetness made me want to vomit. I've only encountered one other thing that has ever replicated that feeling of misery and nausea and insincerity and an overwhelming desire to do literally anything else: Full House.

A virus on America, infesting America with cynical pandering and whitewashing everything long well past Reagan's expiration date. That people remember this show fondly means they were stupid to enjoy it as kids and even stupider to think they enjoy it as adults. The only good thing to come from eight years of this trash was fodder for Neil Cicierega's mashups. Otherwise, it takes up a spot on Nick @ Nite that would be better served by 30 minutes of the Zapruder film.

I've always found it terrible, yet watched a number of episodes as a child anyway. Has some draw that I can't manage to isolate.

Remember the episode when Mary-Kate and Ashley gave an annoyingly wooden performance? You can catch that one on TV today at anytime o'clock.

Even in elementary school, I could tell what absolute fucking cringe-inducing schmaltz this was. When the "touching" music comes up at the end and everyone hugs, ugh. Just hated Michelle and Joey. But, that said, there's just something bizarrely, inexplicably watchable about it, even when you're cringing, groaning, and rolling your eyes. I've seen more episodes than I'd care to admit. Thus why my score isn't 30 points lower.

The definition of the 90's sitcom, boring, repetitive and complete with catch phrases!

Enjoyed it as a kid but it's a pretty tough watch as an adult. More of a nostalgia score for me. The most interesting thing about the show is what happened to everyone after it was over. Jodie Sweetin became a nightmare, the twins became bizarrely sexualized and Candace Cameron Bure turned out to be this super happy person who seems to have the greatest life in the world. She loves her husband and her kids and believes in God! OMG! The super tolerant left's hate towards her is hilarious

I used to watch an episode of this series every evening as a child. How does one rank something like that? Whatever, luckily I have a secret (well, not so very secret now, I suppose) code-rating for the films and shows I have trouble grading. It's more about impossibility than laziness. (Or so I tell myself anyway.)

Dishonest, status quo shoving series.