Sharknado

Shitnado.

It's the type of Asylum clusterfuck we've come to expect; the cheap cash-grab without respect for continuity, the audience, or the laws of nature in general. A bit too boring to get away with such an amazing concept. However, I have high hopes for the inevitable sequels Sharkquake, Sharricane versus Hurricanine, Shih Tzunami, Sharkernova and Sharknado 2 : Wrath of The Revenge of The Return of the Sharknado.

That's not how hurricanes work. That's not how sharks work. That's not how ferris wheels work. That's not how water works. That's not how electricity works. That's not how cars work. That's not how tornadoes work. That's not how gasoline works. That's not how bullets work. That's not how helicopters work. That's not how explosives work. That's not how thermodynamics work. That's not how any of this works.

Brilliant concept but this stillborn stinker earns Razzies in every technical category... directing and editing in particular. Sequences are packed with random shots that don't link up, while many of the shots you expect are missing (budgetary reasons), leaving a surfeit of facial reaction shots. The plot events are delightfully silly, but honestly they could have done it better using a man in a shark suit. Even lines like 'We're going to need a bigger chopper!' are wasted by this wretched team.

Yeah, yeah, yeah... I fell in... But in my defense it was sunday morning, I had a hangover and it was one of the last things on Netflix I hadn't seen... Anyway: If the prospect of watching a Syfy/The Asylum co-production doesn't instantly repel you (which by all rights it fucking should), then at least skip the first hour, and jump in where the heroes are throwing bombs into the tornadoes to make them go away... yeah... this didn't make the hangover any better...

My dreams became reality. My prayers have been answered. I've been waiting a year for this movie to come out, and DAMN IT'S awesomely shitty. Very happy to say this was produced by legendary David Michael Latt. Bless that man. Has many CGI sharks. If they were real, it would've been the whole shark population in the world times 4. It somehow did have some unexpected twists, which is fucking brilliant. I almost pissed my pants with excitement: it's THAT good.

Unholy vortex hosts food chain grudge match for undiscerning netflix subscribers. You have to ask yourself: are the sharks the perpetrators or are they the victims?

Not as stunningly terrible as I imagined. It does indeed have sharks in tornadoes, but honestly more of the film is shark flash flooding. Tara Reid looks like a broken human being. The CGI on this is somehow worse than films from 15 years ago.

if it weren't so horrifically technically flawed it might have been "so bad it's good" camp. unfortunately there's some REALLY bad moments of direction -- a scene where the heros rush to get everyone away from their cars...and when it's done they get back in theirs and drive away. weather goes from near-apocalyptic gloom to perfectly sunny afternoon. plus there's a lack of fun shark action for most of the movie. oh and tara reid removes 20 points.

As self aware B movies go, you can do much better. Worth watching for the ending (i guess).