The Martian

This was the most Tom Hanksless Tom Hanks movie I've ever seen.

Christopher Nolan, I'm so sorry I ever doubted you. If this is the alternative, all is forgiven. I'll take half-baked philosophical pontificating over dialogue mostly consisting of unfunny quips any day; at least you know what the word "tension" means. Though to be fair to Ridley, this might not be much of a movie, but it is one hell of a book report. He summarised the shit outta that thing.

Matt Damon was able to grow crops using his own feces. Something something Rob Schneider.

[RIDLEY]: So, where do I sign? [FOX EXECUTIVE]: Right here, Ridley, where it says 'an endless amount of audience pandering, commercially viable films, in exchange for 1 soul'. [RIDLEY]: Ok, great! (contemplating) Wait, what have I done?! (pulled away in chains and shackles) No, wait! No! Noooooooo!

Whoa, these NASA recruitment videos are getting pretty elaborate. They even hired famous actors and everything! Coasts along on its 'space is cool, being smart is cool' attitude, which I appreciated. Easy to see how this can be considered boring (most obstacles are setbacks for one scene before moving on) but I was happy simply seeing some actual science in my sci-fi again. However, much like my existence, as more time passes it gets increasingly sappy and self-fellating-y.